Just another St. Patrick's Day in Hoboken

So yesterday I woke up bright and early to celebrate St. Patrick's Day in Hoboken -- ya' know, the weekend before the weekend before the actual day -- for the third year in a row. And while year one had me acting like a bit of a drunk asshole to a sober asshole bouncer, and year two had my friend being a bit of a drunk asshole to a bunch of drunk girls on the train, I'm glad to say that this year's drama (and story) didn't involve me or my friends at all! And that's a little victory in and of itself.

It's about 5:30 in the evening or so and we're heading back home on the train coming from Hoboken. Keep in mind that everybody's probably been drinking for the past 10 hours or so. My friends and I are scattered amongst a few rows of seating, so we're basically just people watching. Suddenly these two guys come onto the train, with their t-shirts all cut up to look like something you'd see Goldust or Orlando Jordan wearing. They're basically just drunk and having fun, whatever. Meanwhile, these two super duper macho guys who are sitting near the vestibule set their sights on them, and seemingly begin having flashbacks of high school where they got to stuff skinny guys into lockers.

So the guys in the cut up shirts start playfully shoving each other (again, drunk and just having fun), prompting the big tough guy with the shaved head to say, "Aw, isn't that cute, he's flirting with you" with this goofy smile on his face as if he'd just said the wittiest thing ever. This got no reaction from anybody, so five seconds later he says it AGAIN. Because it wasn't that it wasn't clever or funny, it's that we didn't hear him. Once again, no reaction.

So the big tough guys say something yet again, this time hoping to get a rise or reaction out of the dudes in the cut up shirts. I guess the guys in the shirts said something back, so the two big tough guys get up out of their seats and get in their faces. Push comes to shove, and these two groups are now fighting in the vestibule. It gets broken up, and who's a bloody, bruised mess? Yep, the dude with the shaved head. Apparently, one of the guys in the cut up shirt nailed in right in the bridge of the nose, then caught him in a headlock and repeatedly hit him in the nose.

The police came at a later stop, and the dude with the shaved head and destroyed face and his friends were telling the cops that these guys "attacked them and then ran off at the next stop." They probably did get off at the last stop, but they most certainly didn't just attack them.

Sorry tough guy, you got your ass kicked by a guy half your size, who you were trying to call gay. Sucks to be you.