This means war

I came across this story today, and while I can't vouch for its validity, I felt compelled to comment on it nonetheless. Apparently TNA (the default #2 U.S. wrestling company) threatened to sue UFC over one of their contenders, Jon Koppenhaver, using the nickname "The War Machine." As it happens, TNA has a trademark on that name, which they use for Rhino (of ECW fame).

As a result, evidently Koppenhaver decided to pull a "Warrior" (fittingly), and legally changed his name to "War Machine." He also had this to say:

Subject: Funny ass shit!

SO in case you didn’t notice in my last fight the UFC did NOT use my nickname when I fought. Turns out some gay ass wrestling federation threatened to sue them because they recently named one of their wrestlers The War Machine Rhino and trademarked the name.

Too fuckin’ bad that I have been using this name for 6 years, have it tatted on my body and it is what my fans yell out when I’m fighting.

If you know my personality then you know damn well I am not gonna let some faggot ass, FAKE wrestler steal MY name..SO 6 weeks ago I filed a change of name request and today I had court to make my name officially WAR MACHINE.

lol

Fuckin’ funny right? Didn’t really wanna have to do it but I am sure as hell not lose MY nickname.

Time for a nap.

WM

First off, I don't care how tough you are and how many people you've beaten up, turn in your damn man card for using "LOL."

And what year are we in, exactly? Do people honestly still call out wrestling for being fake and act as if they're making some earth shattering revelation. And I am going to have to take the wrestling fan stance here and clarify that wrestling isn't "fake," it's predetermined. By no means am I trying to compare what happens in WWE or TNA to the action occurring in UFC (that's comparing apples and oranges, really), but when somebody gets thrown off of a 15 foot ladder onto a stack of tables, most people fail to realize that those are real tables. And that's a real fall. And those steel chairs they're getting hit in the head with? Yep, those are real also. It's just plain ignorant to completely disregard what great athletes some of these wrestlers are, many of whom have found great success in the Olympics, the NFL, and yes, even MMA.

And, Mr. Machine, you know what IS real about TNA? That trademark they have on the "War Machine" nickname.

Read more!

It's official: History will be made!

So today Republican presidential candidate John McCain made a surprising pick for his running mate. Easy money was on Mitt Romney, the former Massachusetts governor. However, as an American businessman, it's unlikely Romney would have attracted people that wouldn't have otherwise voted for McCain.

Enter Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska (?!?!??!)

So there you have it. No matter what, the 2008 Presidential Election will mark a "first." For the first time ever, we'll either have a black president or a female vice president. And I couldn't be happier about that.

It's actually pretty discouraging when you think about it. Out of the 43 presidents we've had, every single one of them has been a white, Christian male. In fact, all but one have been Protestant. So its nice that at least one barrier will broken.

This is an exciting election for me personally, because I honestly do like both McCain and Obama quite a lot. While some of you might accuse me of taking the easy route, trust me that's not the case. Nearly all of my friends are HUGE Obama supporters (more than one works for his campaign), so even breaching the subject of possibly voting for McCain is borderline blasphemous (just to give you an indication of the bias, Obama choosing a successful white male as his running mate is "strategic," while McCain picking a female former Union worker is "political").

While I really do like both candidates, at this time, if I was forced to choose, I'd probably vote for McCain. My reason is pretty simple, if completely idiotic: Again, I would be pleased and honored to have either person represent my country, but considering McCain's age, I feel like this is his only chance to serve, whereas Obama has many more opportunities. In an ideal world, McCain can be president now, and Obama in four years. But I'm going to be paying close attention to the debates before I make any decision.

Concerning the prospective vice presidents: I don't know much about Biden, other than that he tends to speak his mind and isn't afraid to say things that might not be very popular. Well, that's one of the things I like about McCain, so in my view that's not a terrible trait. I probably know even less about Palin, but I did hear her speak on television this morning, and she came off as exceptionally likable and charming (unlike that OTHER prominent female politician). I will say, though, that it's a bit curious that McCain would choose somebody with so little experience, when that has been his main criticism of Obama (and considering McCain's age and the fact that he will likely only serve one term, if he's elected, the experience of the V.P. is a very relevant issue).

By the way, I don't think anybody should or shouldn't vote for somebody because of the color of their skin or their gender. I think people should vote for the best candidate. That being said, I can understand how somebody would think that a candidate like them would look out for their best interests. But it honestly depresses me when I hear somebody make a comment about how it was foolish to choose a female vice president, because McCain will lose voters. Or that people wouldn't vote for a black president. It literally makes me depressed. Are there actually people that still think this way? I mean, my skin gets about 10 shades darker over the Summer, does that mean I'm suddenly unqualified for something? It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?

One barrier will be broken following this election. And our country will be better because of it.

Read more!

Top Ten Cases: Heroes moments that give me chills

Welcome to the debut edition of "Top Ten Cases," a new feature that lists my preferences on any given subject. Be warned that this is completely subjective, and my logic and criteria may not be consistent (even within a given list). Of course, I'm looking for suggestions on future topics, so please e-mail me with your ideas!

Back at the end of 2006, PrimeTimePulse ranked Heroes the best show of the year. Considering that it was the series' rookie year -- and that it competed with behemoths such as Lost and 24 -- that's a pretty impressive feat. Perhaps one of the reasons why the show was successful was because it was chock full of awesome moments. This edition of Top Ten Cases takes a look back at my ten favorite.

UPDATE: BE SURE TO PARTICIPATE IN PRIMETIMEPULSE'S HEROES CONTEST TO WIN THE SEASON 2 DVD SET!

Click the "Read More" link for the top ten Heroes moments that give me chills!

10. It's all fun and games until... ("Cautionary Tales")

Unsurprisingly, only two moments from season two made this list. And as one might expect, they take the #10 and #9 spots. What did surprise me, however, is that they're both from the same episode.

The number ten moment is the Mexican stand off between HRG, Mohinder, and Bob, with daughters Claire and Elle serving as the bargaining chips. In the end, Elle had been shot, West had been electrocuted, and HRG has his former boss on his knees. Before he can shoot, however, Mohinder guns down his former ally with a bullet to the eye. With HRG being my favorite character on the show, I was crushed that he had seemingly been killed off.

The reason this moment comes in at number ten is because, despite its emotional impact, the scene is just so flawed in some major ways. Why is it that Mohinder believes he has to shoot HRG in the eye in order to stop him, when he has no intention of killing him? The guy is human, why not shoot him in the leg? Or the arm? Or even in the chest (knowing full well that he can use Claire's blood to revive him)? For that matter, was he even aware that Claire's blood would definitely work? If not, are we to believe that Mohinder -- who is a good person despite his idiocy that season -- would kill HRG, who (despite his moral ambiguity and sketchiness) has provided Mohinder with far more reasons to be trusted than the equally sketchy and equally morally questionable Bob? And he's willing to do this IN FRONT OF THE GUY'S INNOCENT DAUGHTER???? It just didn't add up.

Nevertheless, I still include this scene because it actually had me yelling at the TV.

Watch a music video of this scene:




9. Father/son moment ("Cautionary Tales")

I struggled with whether I would make the final moments between Hiro and his father number nine or number ten on this list. I ultimately decided to place this moment higher than the one above (heh, how often is something higher than something that is above it?) because, at the end of the day, the scene was far better written. Along with that, the impact of the moment was also longer lasting. In this episode, Hiro attempts to go back in time to prevent his father's murder. By the end of the episode, he understands what his father already does: That the past can't be changed, and that this is his destiny. Hiro's father reveals to his son that he IS proud of him, and Hiro allows his father to be killed. Following this event, Hiro "grows up" a bit (but thankfully doesn't lose all of his child-like charm) and comes to better understand the limitations of his amazing ability.

8. HRG + GSW = Father of the Year? ("Company Man")

Throughout the first season, the question was "is HRG a good guy or bad guy?" While that still isn't necessarily apparent (I categorize him as a good guy willing to do bad things), by the end of "Company Man" one thing was crystal clear: His unconditional love for his daughter. "Company Man" was the perfect culmination for Claire, HRG, and the viewers. Everybody sort of rooted Claire on as she stood up for herself and defied her father. However, we ultimately learned that had she listened to him the entire time, things wouldn't have gotten so messy. It became obvious that what he had been saying all along was true: Everything he was doing was to protect his family.

The final moments of the episode, with the Haitian taking Claire away (but not before shooting HRG and wiping part of his memory) is extremely powerful and poignant. The direction was especially well done, showing the gun shot scene over Claire's shoulder, so that we can see her reaction (I also loved how, even at that moment, HRG was trying to protect her by telling her to turn away and cover her ears). It was wonderful seeing the emotion on Claire's face, as she realizes that this is all happening because of her. And I absolutely loved how, despite being told not to, she still ran over to her father to give him one final hug. It was an absolutely incredible scene, in my opinion, and the perfect way to cap off the best episode of the series.

Watch this compilation, summarizing the events of "Company Man":




7. Father and daughter reunite ("The Hard Part")

While this brief scene doesn't have the notoriety of the one above, I still think it's a vastly underrated moment that still pulls at the heart strings (is that the expression? That can't possibly be right. Hearts don't have strings, do they?) A few episodes following "Company Man," Claire has managed to sneak away from the Haitian and has arrived in New York City, hoping to reunite with Peter Petrelli. She does find Peter, but in doing so, discovers that he is actually her uncle, and that Nathan is her absentee biological father. However, instead of this being a joyous family reunion, Claire can't help but feel very alone. Nathan is not the man she was hoping he'd be, and Peter isn't the hero she needs him to be (not at that point, anyway). In this moment of despair, she suddenly sees her father, who had since been captured by The Company and is now teaming with Parkman and Ted to take them down, in the distance. It's a genuinely sweet moment, and as I've noted many times before, Jack Coleman and Hayden Panettiere have incredibly chemistry. At that moment, you could really feel how much Claire loves and adores her father. He truly did "save her" and come to her rescue. It was also nice seeing the two essentially catch up, with Claire revealing to her adoptive dad that Peter is her uncle.

6. "You're totally my hero" ("Fallout")

The moment that Peter and Claire finally met was climatic and historic (more on that later), but it was made even sweeter when Claire went to visit the mysterious stranger who had saved her life in prison. At this point, Peter was still unsure of his purpose. If I remember correctly, he may not have even fully realized his tremendous ability yet. After a brief conversation (highlighted by the moment where Claire realizes that Peter didn't know he'd survive the fall), Claire's father knocks on the door, indicating that it's time for her to leave. Just before she exits his cell, she turns back to Peter and simply says, "You're totally my hero." It was a supremely sweet moment, so wonderfully acted on both sides, and genuine in its subtlety. Peter simply smiles, and Claire leaves. It was a touching moment, and just hearing Claire say the line really does send an emotionally charged shiver down my spine.

Watch the first minute of this freaky ass video for that great line:




5. "Yatta" ("How to Stop an Exploding Man")

The lovable Hiro's high pitched "Yatta!" (translation: I did it!) shriek is a trademark to one of the series' most popular characters. Aside from his comedic offering, perhaps the reason why Hiro is so beloved is because viewers see themselves in him. Here is a guy who sees the joy and adventure in having an extra-ordinary (separation on purpose) ability. I'm sure there are a lot of people that say, "That's exactly how I would react." Even Hiro's quest, which is really no joking matter, is seen through a child's eyes. Sure, Hiro wants to save the world and vanquish evil-doers, but he does so as if he's a comic book character (which, technically, I suppose he is).

And so much of that child-like charm is found in his catchphrase. Everything he lifts his arms into the arm, looks up, and with squinted eyes exclaims, "Yatta!" people can't help but smile. He's surely having the time of his life.

That's why it's all the more poetic when he utters this expression -- but this time, in an almost fierce-like tone -- after he allegedly takes Sylar's life, a decision he has understandably struggled with for much of the season. In a way, it's alluding to the fact that while his view of his quest has been juvenile, actually fulfilling it was a very sincere matter.

Watch this scene:




4. Peter meets/saves Claire ("Homecoming")

During the early part of Heroes, in my view, Peter and Claire were the heart and soul of the series (in that respect, Hiro can probably be described as the show's spirit). Peter was the ordinary man who aspired to be some more, while Claire was the confused teenager trying to understand her new abilities. In many ways, they were polar opposites. Claire wanted nothing more than to be a normal girl, but was thrust into situations where she had to be heroic (whether on a grand level by rescuing a man from a burning building, or in more subtle ways, like shunning her popularity to connect with supposed "freaks"). Meanwhile, Peter so desperately wanted to achieve something great and to change the world, but was constantly halted by his brother and mother.

And indeed, the night of the Homecoming football game, one would achieve his dream, while the other would risk losing hers. Peter would finally have the opportunity to save the world -- and he was willing to risk his life to do it -- while Claire would come to realize that not only can she perhaps never be just a normal girl, but her very life and existence could come to an end.

In many ways, the entire first half of Heroes was leading up to Claire and Peter finally meeting. I remember seeing the preview for the episode, and it almost felt surreal seeing Claire and Peter standing side by side in the school hallway. I thought the scene was handled magnificently, perfectly exemplifying their characters. With Peter not realizing that he's actually talking to the girl he must save, viewers were able to understand that he's a genuinely nice and caring guy. To him, this is some random teenage girl, but nevertheless he takes the time to offer her some encouraging words. Fans also had the opportunity to see the insecure side of Claire, an aspect of her character we rarely saw until then. It was a nice reminder that despite the fact that she's impenetrable, she's still a human being. And she could die.

And the fact that these two had no idea who the other was -- and the significant role they would each play in the other's life -- made the scene all that much more enjoyable for me. It allowed both characters to act naturally. It was definitely one of those scenes where less is more.

Watch Claire and Peter's first interaction:




And, of course, there's the big moment where Sylar comes after Claire, and it's Peter to the rescue. I loved the allusions to Isaac's paintings and the way HRG tried to help, but was kept at a distance. I also thought it was sweet how, after Peter and Sylar were thrown off of the bleachers, Claire rushed over to check on Peter (despite the fact that he attempted killer was lying right beside him).
I was especially fond of the brief interaction at the end:

Peter: By saving you, did I save the world?
Claire: I don't know. I'm just a cheerleader.

3. "Save the cheerleader, save the world" ("Hiros")

You've got to wonder, would Heroes have attracted its legion of season one viewers without this simple sentence? Honestly, "Save the cheerleader, save the world" was more than a catchy ad campaign. It really did become a phenomenon.

Whether they were devoted fans or had never seen a single episode, virtually everybody knew that tagline. And it had people talking. Viewers were left wondering what was so special about the cheerleader. What was she destined to do? And the best part of all was that it wasn't even made explicit until much later, when we go five years into the future.

But lets not take away from the fact that it was, at its core, very effective marketing. I still get chills when I see old previews, with that awesome whisper saying, "save the cheerleader...." (quick fade of Claire) "....save the world." This particular campaign added to my personal enjoyment of the series quite a bit. In fact, when I had my parents watch the first season on DVD, I told them that they were really missing out on not seeing the previews at the end of each episode with that famous line.

The whole "save the cheerleader" campaign also gave Claire's character a lot of much-needed purpose. Lets be honest, aside from her super awesome, super creepy dad, Claire wasn't doing much other than being a angst-ridden teenager. She wasn't doing anything particularly heroic (outside of the pilot episode), and she wasn't really aspiring to be something grand. But when you suddenly tell the viewers that she must be saved or the world is effed, everything she says and does becomes more significant.

Of course, perhaps most significantly, this command from Future Hiro also acted as the catalyst that brought all of the central characters together.

Watch the scene in which Hiro first utters this line, and comments from the stars on the phenomenon it became:




2. "Call me Noah" ("How to Stop an Exploding Man")

You know that a character is special when he can make an incredibly awesome moment out of simply introducing his first name.

Perhaps my favorite part of the scene was that it wasn't gratuitous. Sure, they could've revealed his first name for the sake of revealing it, but it didn't feel like that upon viewing. Instead, it felt like a personal moment between a father and the man who had saved his daughter's life. And for that reason, Peter was the perfect person for HRG to say, "call me Noah." Had it been with anybody else, it probably would have come off as obligatory and forced.

The scene was wonderfully directed as well. I loved how, after Peter said, "Thank you, Mr. Bennet," there's a brief pause as anticipating music plays in the background. At this point, you just knew it was coming. The camera then zooms in on HRG, who quietly replies, "Call me Noah."

Honestly, I'm absolutely shocked that I couldn't find a YouTube clip of this scene, considering how climatic and inspiring it was.

1. Nathan saves the day ("How to Stop an Exploding Man")

Everything about this scene was just fantastic. There's no question that this moment deserves the number one spot, because I got such chills as I viewed various YouTube videos of this scene to determine which one to use. I truly did love everything about it.

To put this in context, consider that the number ten moment didn't rank higher because it was so flawed. This scene, by contrast, overcame all of its flaws to solidify its rank as number one. Yes, I loved the scene, but no, it wasn't perfect. The scene really demanded an explosive, climatic battle between Peter and Sylar. Instead, we got a fist fight. I also think that the dialogue needed to better clarify WHY Peter couldn't just fly away (to their credit, they did answer this question in the next season episode "Four Months Ago..."). Despite these imperfections, it was a really amazing scene.

Nathan swooping in from the sky just before Claire had to shoot Peter was perfect on so many levels. First off, it showed his acceptance, so to speak, of his ability (if I recall correctly, he had only voluntarily used this ability once before, when he had to escape from HRG and the Haitian). Secondly, he was doing something incredibly selfless and compassionate for two people he loved. He prevented Claire from having to shoot and kill Peter, somebody she cared for deeply (loved how he echoed her line about the future not being written in stone). And his actions also meant that Peter wouldn't have to die alone.

And it STILL gives me chills hearing Nathan say, "You saved the cheerleader, so WE could save the world." An absolutely, positively AWESOME line.

Here's a great 10-minute video that not only includes this scene, but also provides the Nathan/Peter backstory behind it. If you're just interested in seeing the finale stuff, begin watching at the 4:00 point:


.

Read more!

Z-Plug!!

This message comes from my friend Neal over at Oblivious to Melody. All you music fans should check out his blog. And as for the show hyped below, give it a shot!

Hello Friends,

It is with great pleasure that I am able to share with you some very exciting news. As some of you may already know, one of the bands signed to the label I work for, ZO2, has been experiencing tremendous success as of late. If you haven't already heard from me, they recently wrapped filming a 10-episode semi-scripted comedy series called "Z-Rock". The show resembles the format of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and is loosely based on the lives of the band members. Think "Flight of The Conchords" meets "Spinal Tap". Featuring a host of guest appearances from comedians, musicians, and celebrities, the show is absolutely hilarious! Z-Rock premieres this Sunday on the Independent Film Channel (IFC) at 11:30 PM EST, so please tune in!

If you could also spread the word/pass this message around to friends, family, or anyone you think would be interested, I would greatly appreciate it. The details are listed below. If you go to the official page at www.ifc.com/zrock you can get a sneak peek at clips, pictures, and a list of some of the show's guests. Thank you all so much for your support, and I hope you enjoy the show!

Z-ROCK - A (Kinda) True Story

Premieres Sunday AUGUST 24, 11:30PM ET/PT on
IFC

Z-ROCK, the original comedy series from IFC, starring Riker
Hill Records very own hard working rock band - ZO2

Z-ROCK, ten hilarious episodes, uncut, uncensored and
commercial free

Z-ROCK, must-see TV.

"Like the dialogue in "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and "This Is
Spinal Tap," much of that in "Z Rock" is improvised... For the three
band members, .... the approach proved a blessing."

THE NEW YORK TIMES

______________________________

Thanks again guys!

Best,

Neal

Be sure to check out the show. Also, in some blog news, next week I'm going to be starting a new feature called "Top Ten Cases," in which I do top ten lists for a variety of subjects. In celebration of the upcoming TV season, the first list will be "Top Heroes Moments That Give Me Chills."

Nevertheless, I'm taking suggestions for future lists (I'd like this to become a weekly feature). It can be anything from TV to wrestling to movies to beer. Anything you think I'd enjoy. Please e-mail me your suggestions!

Read more!

Blog Exclusive: Your (Sorta) Complete Guide to Heroes

So Season Three of Heroes is just around the corner, and while I have been admittedly critical of the shortcomings of last season, from what I've seen in commercials and previews, the third volume looks phenomenal! Check out this awesome two minute preview:



While it's really Spider-Man 3-esque, I love the black/red split screen used throughout this ad campaign. And speaking of esque....how much does this whole Mohinder-creating-an-injection-that-gives-people-abilities thing remind you of the Promicin war of The 4400?

I think the greatest fault of Volume Two, which was titled "Generations," was that it ultimately failed to deliver what it had promised, whether explicitly or implicitly. We were supposed to learn all about the previous generation of heroes (and villains, I suppose), and a general history of The Company. However, we really didn't get that. We still don't know what Hiro's father can do, or what Mrs. Petrelli can do, or what Charles' ability is.... You get the point. Yes, I recognize that the season was cut short by the strike, but the things clearly were not on track to wrap up in a climatic matter.

And I'm STILL pissed we didn't get that Claire/Elle smackdown.

Anyway, to commemorate the introduction of the "Villains" chapter of Heroes, I thought I'd offer up this complete guide to every single Heroes column I have ever written. ENJOY! And, of course, comments are encouraged!

Season One:

Episode 1-01 - "Genesis"
Episode 1-02 - "Don't Look Back"
Episode 1-03 - "One Giant Leap"
Episode 1-04 - "Collision"
Episode 1-05 - "Hiros"
Episode 1-06 - "Better Halves"
Episode 1-07 - "Nothing to Hide"
Episode 1-08 - "Seven Minutes to Midnight"
Episode 1-09 - "Homecoming"
Episode 1-10 - "Six Months Ago"
Episode 1-11 - "Fallout"
Episode 1-12 - "Godsend"
Episode 1-13 - "The Fix"
Episode 1-14 - "Distractions"
Episode 1-15 - "Run!"
Episode 1-16 - "Unexpected"
Episode 1-17 - "Company Man" (BEST. EPISODE. EVER)
Episodes 1-18 & 1-19 - "Parasite" & ".07%"
Episode 1-20 - "Five Years Gone"
Episode 1-21 - "The Hard Part"
Episode 1-22 - "Landslide"
Episode 1-23 - "How to Stop an Exploding Man"

BONUS: Heroes - The best show of 2006

Season Two:

Episode 2-01 - "Four Months Later..."
Episode 2-02 - "Lizards"
Episode 2-03 - "Kindred"
Episode 2-04 - "The Kindness of Strangers"
Episode 2-05 - "Fight or Flight"
Episode 2-06 - "The Line"
Episode 2-07 - "Out of Time"
Episode 2-08 - "Fourth Months Ago..."
Episode 2-09 - "Cautionary Tales"
Episode 2-10 - "Truth & Consequences"
Episode 2-11 - "Powerless"

As always, special thanks to Grant Gould for the awesome artwork!

Read more!

Not this song and dance again....

A few months ago I wrote a couple of blog entries speaking out against New Jersey prohibiting people from using their cell phone while driving. My stance has always been that if you're using your cell phone but you remain alert and are driving safely (and yes, it is possible), it's a bit ridiculous to be pulled over and given a ticket. I can personally attest to the fact that my hands free device absolutely sucks, and the process of flipping open the phone, fumbling to find my hands free unit, plugging it in, and maneuvering it onto my ear is FAR more dangerous and distracting than merely picking the phone up and placing it against my ear.

Nevertheless, I must continue to ask, why are we so determined to vilify cell phone use while people are driving?

On AOL.com today, I came across this article (originally posted on the FOX News website), which is titled "Girl in Fatal Wreck Sent Text Message Moments Before Crash." Here is the article in its entirety:

Authorities say a 16-year-old girl who died after losing control of her car had been texting on her cell phone moments before the accident. Kayla Preuss, of Highland, CA was driving on the Interstate 10 Freeway in Redlands when she lost control of her car and crashed. She died of head injuries. Authorities say Preuss had been driving drunk and was speeding. But another factor may have contributed to the crash. Phone records show Preuss was texting just before the accident. Her cell phone, which was flipped open, was found resting on the floorboard by her feet.

Does anybody else find it disturbing that the very first sentence of this story discusses the fact that she was allegedly using her cell phone before the crash, yet doesn't mention the fact that she was, ya' know, DRIVING DRUNK until the fourth sentence? And even then, THAT tidbit of information is quickly disregarded, just so that the author can speculate that the whole texting thing MAY have contributed to the crash.

Yes, in a seven sentence story, only one sentence refers to the fact that she was driving drunk, compared to the four sentences that reference or allude to her cell phone use. Not to mention that the title completely focuses on the texting aspect of this story, while totally ignoring the whole intoxication thing. And nearly all of the 50 plus comments being left relate to the cell phone usage, with nary a single comment devoted solely to drinking and driving.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Read more!

And isn't it ironic....don't you think? NO!

Everybody knows one of those people. Ya' know, the person who makes the astute and original remark that none of the examples in Alanis Morissette's single "Ironic" is actually, ya' know, ironic. Well, as a college graduate who majored in English, I can attest to the fact that yes, for the most part, that assessment is true. However, I offer up an alternate theory: Isn't it ironic in and of itself that a song title "Ironic" includes several examples, none of which are actually ironic?

According to dictionary.com, irony is defined as:

1. the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.
2. Literature.
a. a technique of indicating, as through character or plot development, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated.
b. (esp. in contemporary writing) a manner of organizing a work so as to give full expression to contradictory or complementary impulses, attitudes, etc., esp. as a means of indicating detachment from a subject, theme, or emotion.

Anyway, I thought I'd offer up a quick examination of my own. Here are the lyrics (in italics), with my interpretation (in bold) underneath:

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

Nope, not quite. An elderly person experiencing something extremely emotional and, I'm sure, stressful, only to die the next day seems somewhat natural. And receiving a death row pardon two minutes after being executed is just shitty timing. A black fly in Chardonnay seems more unfortunate than anything else.

Chorus:
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

For what it's worth: Optimists believe that it's good fortune when it rains on your wedding day. But to the glass half empty types, it's really just bad luck. And already paying for a free ride sounds like a rip off to me. And not taking perfectly good advice? That's just stubborn.

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

Actually, uttering "well isn't this nice..." as the plane goes down is perhaps the one thing in this song that CAN truly be defined as ironic. But the scenario as a whole? I think I'd mark it down as bad luck, but not ironic.

Chorus
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face
A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

Traffic jam when you're already late? Perfectly sensible. Most people ARE late BECAUSE of traffic jams. A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break? Highly likely, considering that smoking is illegal in most public places. At worse, it's an inconvenience, really. Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife? Well, that's just plain inefficient and reeks of poor planning. And meeting the person of your dreams only to discover that they're already hitched? Nothing more than unfortunate and, actually, quite typical.

Chorus
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

So there you have it. Not much in the way of irony, huh?

Read more!

Well that was.....lame....

Predictability has a bad rap. A lot of times people call things "predictable," when in reality, the story is just progressing logically. With that in mind, when Kane opened up his bag and revealed his mask last night, it would have been predictable. But it also would have made perfect sense. And it would've been wonderful character development.

Instead, Kane takes out....Rey Mysterio's mask? Yeah, that makes sense...

Let me get this straight: On July 7th, 2008 Kane was pinned by Batista in a four-way match to determine the #1 Contender for CM Punk's World Heavyweight Championship. This loss made the big man snap, and he went ballistic while vaguely asking "Is he alive.....or dead????" We now know that his "he" refers to Rey Mysterio.

Yes, the Rey Mysterio who competed earlier in that night, soundly defeating Santino Marella. So, being that Mysterio was quite clearly alive earlier in the night -- and, for that matter, had absolutely nothing to do with is traumatic loss -- why exactly was Kane so confused?

Maybe he caught a glimpse of how the storyline was going to play out. But hey, congratulations on that CINE award.

As a post-script, I would like to acknowledge that I thought the actual scene was written quite well, and that I thought it was wise to bring up the fact that everybody had pretty much pieced together that Kane was carrying around his mask and referring to his former self. I just think they missed out on a great opportunity to re-invent and refresh Kane's character.

Read more!

Who's the best?

There's an interesting discussion over at Scott Keith's blog about who is the absolute best in WWE right now. The original e-mail questioned whether Edge is truly the best (in response to Mick Foley's recent comments on Smackdown), and Scott answered that while he's close, John Cena is more consistent, but that in the end, Shawn Michaels is the true #1.

While Edge has been my favorite Superstar for years, I have to agree that Shawn Michaels is the best. In fact, it really irks me when anybody (particularly Ric Flair) goes on and on about how Triple H is the best in the business. How so? Michaels is better on the mic, he's better in the ring technically speaking, he's more hated when he's a heel, he's more loved and sympathetic as a face, and he's FAR more exciting to watch (when is the last time you saw Triple H do a moonsault from the top rope to the outside of the ring?) There is literally not one facet that I can think of where Triple H bests Michaels.

It kills me that they haven't given this man a legitimate, long World title reign. Sure, he's had a few injuries since his return in 2002, but he's been consistently healthier than, say, Triple H, Batista, and the Undertaker. And if you want to use the "no house shows" excuse, the Raw roster is stacked enough that they can get away with not having the champion at every show for a few months.

That being said, I think Edge has been absolutely phenomenal, and his game has picked up even MORE since his move to Smackdown last year. Perhaps the greatest testament to his value as a character is that the show still revolves around him, even after Triple H was traded to the show. I also find the prospect of him turning face very intriguing (although, generally speaking, the blue show is pretty face heavy and light on heels). I think my favorite part of his apparent face turn is that it's so twisted and backwards. It began with him brutally attacking the lovable Mick Foley, and proceeded with him throwing his wife off of her wheelchair. Ah, the complexity of wrestling...

I'd complete the transition with having him put up an awesome fight against the Undertaker at SummerSlam, but ultimately coming up short. However, following the match, the Undertaker helps Edge to his feet, and offers his hand in respect. The two shake hands, and badda bing, Edge is officially a face for the first time in, what, four years? Lets see how the Rated R Superstar does as a fan favorite.

So, who do you think is #1? Do you think that Shawn Michaels should be awarded a World title reign? Is Edge turning face a good thing? Discuss!

Read more!

Two crushes, one stage

So this blog comes to you from the sunny Jersey shore! I did have a celebrity encounter, apparently, at the beginning of this week. My family and I were enjoying a happy hour at one of the bars right off the beach, and shortly after we arrived, this short guy wearing black shorts, a black shirt, and a black fedora gets up and leaves. Who was the mysterious man clad in black?

None other than Mr. Avril Lavigne, Deryck Whibley.

Anyway, while I didn't catch the 2008 Teen Choice Awards (and really, why would any 26 year old male?), I was excited to learn that two of my celebrity crushes -- Hayden Panettiere and my love, Rachel Bilson -- briefly shared the stage. And although it would have been incredibly awesome seeing Miss Bilson with another hottie, Kristin Kreuk (who was also up for the award), seeing my love with the Heroes beaut was pretty neat as well. Although I was a bit surprised to see that Hayden Panettiere is even littler than Rachel Bilson.

Now, my fine bloggers, help me find screencaps from the event!

Read more!