So nice in SoCar (TM Matt Basilo)

So yesterday I got back from my friend's wedding in South Carolina. Before I get to how incredibly awesome it was, let me rant about my traveling woes.

I flew out of LaGuardia, which was a first for me. Nine times out of ten, I fly out of Newark, undoubtedly the nicest of any of the Port Authority locations. But LaGuardia offered a reasonable rate and a direct flight, so I took it. And let me tell you....it was pretty ghetto. First off, a tip is expected for pretty much every single thing anybody does. I took one of the airport run shuttles from the parking garage to my terminal, and there were -- no exaggeration -- THREE signs on the window asking for tips. I can understand if the driver was helping you lug really heavy bags, but I had a backpack and a small carry-on-sized suitcase, both of which I carried myself. He essentially drove me from A to B, doing absolutely nothing outside the realm of his very basic duties. Yet I still had to tip him a couple bucks. And since I checked in online, I used the outside kiosk to check my itty bitty bag. And yes, there was a sign asking for a tip. Ridiculous.

And unlike Newark and JFK, when the gateway takes you directly into the plane, the gateways at LaGuardia takes you to the runway, where a shuttle takes you to the plane (surprised we didn't have to tip there!)

The way back wasn't much better. There were several absolutely adorable children at the wedding, making my sentimental uncle-ly instincts (my sister is due in September) hit its peak. Well, at the airport and on the flight were a wide array of very noisy children, basically leveling out those emotions. While waiting in the terminal, these children were loud, but innocent enough. Suddenly this really snobby, elitist-like woman comes over, puts her bags on two seats, sits on another, and makes the children leave their spot. So she can take up five seats (one for herself, two for HER children, and two for her bags). And every time the children would make noise, she'd look up with this disapproving, annoyed look. She even asked the father "where are you guys sitting?" pretty rudely making it clear that she doesn't want to be near them.

Oh, it gets worse. Of course, it turned out she and her family were sitting right in front of me and next to me. One of her sons was mentally challenged, and HE was put in charge of our emergency exit door. We were also delayed TWO hours because they couldn't lock the front door. Sheesh, what a nightmare!

Thankfully, though, all of that was more than eclipsed by my incredible few days in SoCar (this nickname WILL catch on, mark my words!) I arrived Thursday afternoon, where the groom (Dave) picked me up on the airport. After running a few errands, we went to the great cottage that he had rented for us and his two other friends. That evening, we went on a small cruise, and that night dined at the bride's (Katie) parent's house for a delicious BBQ. Trust me, there's nothing like a Southern BBQ.

The next day we went to the beach for a couple hours. We also grabbed an absolutely bite to eat at Waffle House. We don't have that in the North (not in New Jersey, anyway), so it was a real treat. A delicious treat at that. We then headed off to the wedding location for the rehearsal, where we were interrupted by.....an alligator! Yeah, that bad boy -- while relatively little -- came awfully close. Thankfully, there were no casualties. Afterwards, we had the rehearsal dinner, which was highlighted by some oyster shucking (once again, delicious), fried chicken, and pulled pork. Honestly, I'd be shocked if I didn't put on a few pounds after those two days alone (no comments).

That night Dave took me and his other friend, Greg, to this hotel called The Sanctuary. For me to call this place posh and luxurious would be an understatement, to say the least. After a beer, we blindly decided to go to Charleston. It was the night before his wedding, after all. However, we had a bit of trouble finding a good place to go. One of the places we happened upon was this really hipster-like dive bar. The type of place where the bathroom stall doesn't have a door. But the people there are all playing chess, Connect Four, and Scrabble! You read that right...

The next morning we went to the beach for a couple of hours before preparing for the wedding. The event itself was absolutely beautiful. It was a bit overcast, and it was thundering a bit, but the rain held off, so they were able to do everything outside.

The reception was great as well, with -- yep, you guessed it -- some delicious food! And it was a buffet, so you didn't even have to choose between the great meals being offered. I did have to make a short speech (pictured above), which I was really nervous about. But I persevered and got through it. But I was a sweaty mess, due to the combination of the bright lights and my nerves. In a funny moment, shortly after the speech, one of Dave's family friends walked over to me with his dinner napkin and started patting down my forehead.

Overall it was a magnificent time, and I'm truly honored that I had the opportunity to play a part in it. I wish my friends, Dave and Katie, a great marriage and a lifetime of happiness. You guys did a great job with the wedding!

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Real quick note...

I'll discuss the wedding festivities later today, but there was something I wanted to mention last week, but never had a chance to. This goes into the category of "little touches I love," but during last week's King of the Ring tournament, CM Punk did the "Macho Man Treatment" (TM Matt Basilo) when he wore three different trunks in each of his matches. In his first match with Matt Hardy he wore his black with white trim trunks, in his next one against Jericho he wore his black with blue trim trunks, and in the finals against Regal he wore his blue with black trim trunks. Nicely done, Mr. Punk. Unfortunately you didn't take home the crown, unlike your predecessor.

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A Case of the.... Smallville - Episode 7-16

So I'm back from my friend's wedding in South Carolina, and although it was an absolutely phenomenal time, I'm absolutely exhausted. I will write all about my adventures a little later this week. But until then, here's my latest Smallville column posted on Prime Time Pulse (I haven't watched this past week's episode yet, so this is for "Descent"):

http://primetimepulse.insidepulse.com/2008/04/25/a-case-of-the-smallville-episode-7-16/

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Gone til Sunday

Well, loyal readers (reader?), I'm off to SoCar (that's South Carolina to you squares) until Sunday, so you've all got a reprieve from my next rant. One of my best friends from high school is getting married, and your friendly neighborhood blogger will be acting as best man (well, co-best man to be technical). The weather is supposed to be beautiful, and a lot of fun stuff is planned, so I'm really psyched for what is sure to be a great trip.

May I just note, though, how much I hate packing. It's not so much that it takes time, and that you have to fit everything into a suitcase, it's just that -- no matter what -- I ALWAYS feel like I'm forgetting something. And it's not even that I have any reason to think this. I don't recall ever taking a trip and arriving at my destination only to realize that I forgot to pack underwear or something.

Making matters worse is that I really don't have to bring much at all. I'm picking up my tux there, so Saturday's attire is handled. I don't really have to worry about an outfit for Sunday, because I leave early that afternoon. That really just leaves Thursday and Friday. So with so little packed, I REALLY feel like something is missing.

Anyway, when I get back, I'll be sure to write up a commentary on last week's INCREDIBLE Smallville episode. If I have time to, I might be able to do it tonight. Then hopefully sometime in my absence, Inside Pulse will get around to posting it. Anyway, be back Sunday!

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Wade Keller is a real dick

Let me preface this by saying that I don't like Mike Adamle (who most of you probably remember as the host of the original American Gladiators), and I think that him replacing Joey Styles as ECW's play-by-play commentator was a HUGE disappointment. That said, in last week's coverage of ECW on Sci-Fi, Wade Keller of PWTorch.com was unnecessarily harsh.

I mean Keller absolutely, positively tore this guy a new one. Honestly, you would have thought Adamle raped Keller's puppy or something. Give the page a read -- practically the entire column is filled with quotes of what Adamle had said and why he's an idiot for saying it. Keller tore apart every single little thing Adamle said, and a lot of the times the criticisms didn't even make sense.

For example, Keller says: Adamle said Kofi's "reputation preceded him here" because he got a great ovation. Huh? That makes no sense. Not even a little bit.

Actually, that statement makes perfect sense. People are cheering for him because of his past achievements. By that line of reasoning, they are already aware of his accomplishments. Hence, his reputation precedes him.

This actually reminds me a few weeks ago, when Keller decided that he'd like to sound ultra evolved by sticking up for homosexuals by chastising John Cena for making fun of Randy Orton for liking My Two Dads. Hey, I fully agree that it's lame to call somebody "gay" as an insult. But too bad My Two Dads has nothing to do with gay couples. He's basically saying that Orton likes corny 80's/90's sitcoms -- but hey, good for you for sticking up for the little guy!

Making matters worse, in his virtual time coverages -- which are not live, mind you. Keller can easily edit his work before publishing each section -- contains countless errors. He constantly mixes up wrestlers' names or what people said. Hell, I've even seen him incorrectly state who won the match! Actually, you know what? Lets look at some of the gems from last night's Raw coverage (Keller's stuff appears in blue italics):

1 -- CHRIS JERICHO vs. MVP - King of the Ring Quarter-Finals
MVP dominated the vasty majority of the first nine minutes....WINNER: Jericho in 5:00 via tapout.

So let me get this straight....MVP dominates the first nine minutes, but the match is only 5 minutes long? Incredible! And this is only the first match.

And what the hell is "vasty"??!?!

It's too risky to do on live TV, but it'd be fascinating to watch matches between wrestlers who really didn't know until ring introductions whom they were facing and didn't know until the ref told them before the bell how long they had and who was going over and how.

Yes, that would be fascinating. If only there was some sort of cyber-related Pay-Per-View in which they did something like this.

Ross announced that the four-way main event had become an Elimination Match with all four men in the ring at once to start.

No, actually they announced that the match wouldn't end until one person remained. Hence why it is now "elimination."

A promo aired with JBL. He predicted he'd become the King of the Ring.

If by "King of the Ring" you mean "WWE Champion," then yes Wade, you're spot-on.

4 -- WILLIAM REGAL vs. HORNSWOGGLE - King of the Ring Quarter-Finals
Finlay ran up to grab Hornswoggle away from Finlay, who was unable to do anything with his injured leg.

Really, so Finlay ran up to grab Hornswoggle away from himself? Amazing! And we're still on the first hour of a three hour show, folks.

They went into a nice serious of pin attempts and counters.

I'm glad that their pin attempts weren't joking around.

-A gaggle of Divas walked to the ring to Maria music. Maria, Ashley, Candice Michelle, Cherry, and Kelly Kelly stood together in the ring.

Yeah, Candice Michelle wasn't there.

Chavo's ring entrance took place during the commercial.

Or it happened during the show, in between JBL and Edge's entrances. But I can see how easily you could miss something as subtle as somebody coming out to music and doing exaggerating mannerisms while the announcers talk about him.

See how easy it is to make somebody look like an incompetent tool by putting every single little thing somebody writes or says under the microscope?

Last year I took advantage of an offer to get a couple of free issues of Pro Wrestling Torch, and I was really unimpressed. I expected something like a newspaper, instead I got something that resembled those tri-fold pamphlets you get at church. It was basically material that appears on their website, with numerous spelling and formatting errors.

Basically, the best thing about the PWTorch is Grant Gould's artwork.

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My weekend as a P.A.

So this past weekend I had the interesting opportunity to be a Production Assistant (P.A.) for a short film titled "Daren & Si." The intention is for this 15 minute movie to be shown at various film festivals, with the hopes that somebody within the industry will fund it to become a full length feature. Aside from one of the actors continually calling me "Mark," it was an excellent and worthwhile experience.

Probably the first thing I realized is how spot-on The Simpsons "Radioactive Man Movie" episode is. When the director says "Perfect! Lets shoot it again! And again and again!" -- that's really true to life. Even when a scene is shot perfectly, they do it countless more times from different perspectives and camera angles. To give you perspective, a 15 minute film took four days to shoot.

My job was basically to be a "gofer" by picking up breakfast and coffee every morning, picking up lunch, going to stores to pick up any necessary items, and taking care of any errands. As such, I wasn't able to view the entire production, but it was really, really interesting watching a film -- even a very short one -- being made.

While it is common knowledge that movies and television shows aren't filmed in sequence, it's quite an experience actually seeing this process in action. For example, much of the end of the film was shot on the first day of filming (Friday). As such, the lead actress was severely in emotional distress. Actually, she did such a wonderful job getting "into character" that the entire first day that I worked with her, I thought she was a bit cold and stand offish. It wasn't until the next day, when we started filming the "lighter" scenes, that I realized she was an extremely friendly and warm person.

I first realized how nice she was when she quite kindly handled the hamburger situation for the BBQ scene. Basically, I was asked to BBQ some burgers for a scene that would be shot later in the day (so that they wouldn't lose time preparing the burgers for the ACTUAL scene). If I may say so myself, I barbied these babies up to perfection. Unfortunately, we didn't get to that scene until, like, two hours later. So by the time her and her "father" had to eat them, they were really cold, really dry, and really hard. I attempted to reheat them, which ultimately made them really dry, really hard, and really overcooked. And because of numerous takes, she had to eat, like, three of them.

I learned a couple of other things about filming a movie as well. I'm not quite sure how to phrase this without coming off as offensive, but one thing I noticed is that when you're filming in a lower-class area, people REALLY don't want to appear on camera. This happened on two occasions. One day we filmed in a thrift store, and while we're clearly filming, one women starts asking -- quite loudly, and from a distance -- "What are you filming?" We're ignoring her, because we can't talk while we're filming. She then starts yelling "Hello? Hello? What are you filming?" Finally the producer walked over to her to quietly explain the scenario.

Similarly, Monday afternoon we shot at this really, really skeezy dive of a bar (incidentally, another thing I learned is that a fair amount of people drink at sketchy bars in the middle of the day). One of my assignments that day was to stand outside to tell people who were about to enter that we're filming. They were allowed to go inside, they just had to sign a release and were instructed to act natural and not look at the camera when they walk in. They were even told that we'd buy them a beer for their trouble. But even then, a lot of people were very turned off by appearing on camera. Humorously, though, one of the people who was about to go to the bar (at about 3:00 in the afternoon on a Monday) was this kid I went to high school with.

After seeing the "making of" process, I look really forward to seeing the finished product. I worked with some really talented, friendly, and patient people, and it really could not have gone better. And hey, maybe my next assignment will be a Rachel Bilson production!

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Juno

So last week I finally saw Juno. While I really enjoyed the film, and I thought all of the central characters did a fantastic job with their roles, I didn't think it was nearly as brilliant as virtually everybody else praised it as.

Overall, I thought it was a really sweet film. A lot of people have accused it of being unrealistic, but I disagree. I certainly don't think the events are out of the realm of possibility (there are parents out there who would unconditionally support their pregnant daughters, and there are teenage girls out there who would opt to put their baby up for adoption instead of getting an abortion).

One thing I did appreciate about the film was that it didn't feel the need to hammer home certain points (which, in general, is a big pet peeve of mine). Some people have expressed disappointment over Juno's apparent lack of emotion regarding her pregnancy and giving up her child, but I liked the fact that she didn't go on some verbal rant about how difficult it would be to give up her baby. Instead, it was expressed through some really understated, subtle ways. I believe that Juno's desire to become attached with the adoptive parents was absolutely her way of coping with her loss. Do you think she honestly cares about whether two virtual strangers get a divorce? Of course not. The only reason she cares about their relationship is because it will, in her mind, impact the way her baby is raised.

However, the one thing that really irked me was the dialogue. For the most part, I HATE the really fake, contrived language that so many writers insist on having their teenage characters speak. For the life of me, I don't understand how anybody can sit through an episode of Gilmore Girls for this reason. Even Dawson's Creek was unbearable at times. I'm sorry, but the vast majority of teenagers do not get into philosophical arguments. And when they do argue, they don't use super intelligent, thesaurus-laden words and phrases.

One might defend these examples by stating that these characters are supposed to be "quirky" or "outcasts." I could accept that, except for the fact that practically every character on those shows speak this way. Like I said, I've never sat through a whole episode of Gilmore Girls, so I can't vouch for that. But I can tell you that Dawson, Pacey, Jen, Jack, and ESPECIALLY Joey all spoke the same way. So they're not quirky. Within the context of the show, it's been established that "this is how teenagers talk."

Juno was much the same way. Within the first ten or so minutes, when Leah says "Honest to blog?!" after Juno reveals that she's pregnant, I cringed. First off, that expression doesn't even make any sense. It came off as a very desperate attempt to try to sound hip and young and pop-culturey. And, again, to some extent, Bleeker, Leah, and Juno (pretty much the only three teenage characters) all spoke the same way, negating that they're just quirky individuals. Michael Cera is absolutely hilarious and he plays those characters so well that you can't really criticize his performance, and Ellen Page is (in my opinion) tremendously likable and charming, so she can get away with it too. But the Leah character (specifically her dialogue) really hurt the film, in my opinion.

In regards to Juno in particular, her slangy way of speaking just felt too forced. She doesn't have to use slang or slip a pop culture reference in every single sentence she says. If a less charismatic actress was portraying the role, I really think that the film would have received very unfavorable reviews. Along with that -- and this echoes my point of a writer unsuccessfully trying to express the way she THINKS teenagers sound -- some of the things she said were just inaccurate. First off, Morgan Freeman wasn't even in The Bone Collector, Denzel Washington was. Secondly, it's "Thundercats HOOOOOO!" not "Thundercats are go!" Some people have defended these errors as Juno being an ignorant teenager. Sorry, I can't accept that. Not when she's able to make a Soupy Sales reference.

Great film? Without a doubt. Worth watching? Absolutely. Brilliant? Not quite.

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Cartoon Wars

So a few weeks ago, South Park took yet another shot at Family Guy. I enjoy both shows, but I thought I'd comment on this "Cartoon War" that has erupted between the fans of each show.

Like I said, I like both shows, so you can obviously like one without hating the other. If I was forced to choose, I'd say that I am more partial to Family Guy. I think the arguments made against Family Guy are perfectly valid and true, but they simply don't make any sense. While checking out the IMDb.com forums (the haven for highly intelligent conversations), somebody actually argued that Family Guy sacrifices plot for the sake of humor and pop culture references. Are you kidding me? Is this a joke? Family Guy is a comedy!!! Would you rather watch an absolutely hilarious episode of Family Guy, or an episode of Family Guy that told a fantastic story?

Have you ever heard anybody say "Wow, last night's episode of Family Guy (or South Park, for that matter) had an awesome plot"? No. People either say "that episode was hilarious" or "that episode wasn't all that funny."

Who the hell cares if Family Guy's jokes have absolutely nothing to do with the plot? For the life of me, I will never understand this argument. I sit and wonder if, when people watch this show, they actually say to themselves "oh man, that joke would have been hilarious if it was integral to the overall story." If it's funny, that's all that should matter. Even the early episodes (which I don't think are nearly as funny as the ones aired since the show returned) were more about jokes than the actual plot.

I really enjoy South Park -- most of the time, anyway -- but I also think they often give themselves way more credit than they deserve. Don't get me wrong, the show can be deceptively sophisticated, but when you sacrifice humor for messages, you're completely missing the point of a cartoon comedy (and, as such, really have no right for criticizing a comedy for sacrificing story for humor).

Just take a look at Robot Chicken, a show that has found success and a devoted following by completely eliminating plot and only offering random comedic sequences.

Personally, I hope Family Guy never responds to these jabs, because honestly, it makes Trey and Matt (creators of South Park) come off as exceptionally insecure and threatened.

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A Case of the.... New Amsterdam - The Complete First Season

I know I haven’t discussed this show since the first two episodes, and it has nothing to do with a lack of interest. Quite the contrary, in fact. It easily remains my favorite new show since Heroes, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed every episode with each passing week. However, I unfortunately am unable to watch the show when it airs on Mondays, and by the time I do get to watch the episode, it’s usually only a couple days before the new episode airs. So, ultimately, I decided it’d be much easier and more effective to just write about the first season as a whole.

http://primetimepulse.insidepulse.com/2008/04/17/a-case-of-the-new-amsterdam-the-complete-first-season/

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Survivor thoughts

I'm still a big fan of Survivor, and I'm impressed with how the show has managed to remain pretty fresh while staying true to its original concept. But after 18,000 seasons, can we PLEASE quit it with the whole "half of the tribe gets a feast, and the other half gets all bitter about it" routine? I mean, PLEASE! Get the F over it already. This happens every single season. You lost the challenge, they won fair and square, and they deserve the feast. It's a competition, and it wasn't anything malicious. On top of that, 9.9 times out of 10, the losing team ASKS how it was, feigning interesting. Then, moments after the winning tribe spills the details, the losing tribe scurries off and talks crap about them. It's really tired and old. Get over it.

Click the "Read More" link for my thoughts on who got voted off.

The amazing thing about this episode was the way it made me really, really dislike pretty much everybody except Jason, and maybe Erik. Honestly, everybody else came off as exceptionally unlikable.

I'm a little torn about how I feel regarding the crew blatantly lying to Jason about not voting him off. My personal philosophy regarding the show has always been that you're competing to win one million dollars, you're not there to meet your new best friend. So if turning on a close ally is personally beneficial, more power to you. I've always felt that the person most deserving is the person that can get to the end and convince you to vote for them. As far as this game is concerned, I really don't necessarily believe you have to play honestly or honorably.

Yet, for some reason, the way this went down really left a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe it was that they not only lied to him about not voting him off, but they also arranged for him to basically get them a huge feast as well. It was just....particularly despicable. There was nothing really strategic about it....it was just mean.

And what the hell was with that finger crossing thing? Are we in freakin' 4th grade?

I also find it interesting how Alexis, an apparent motivational speaker, makes the biggest sour puss face when something didn't work out for her, and then calls somebody stupid for taking somebody else's word.

Oh, and I also found it funny how James -- the guy who got voted off while holding TWO immunity idols -- criticized Jason for playing stupidly.

As far as Ozzy goes, well, it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. I've always liked him, but he was one of the people I referred to in the beginning who came off as very unlikable this episode. I also found his whole reaction to getting voted off pretty hypocritical. I mean, you basically spent the entire time between the immunity challenge and tribal council saying how it's about outwitting somebody, and it was foolish of Jason to take anybody's word. Oh, and he actually said "he'll just continue dominating challenges." Not at all like you would, right Ozzy? Well guess what, you just got outwitted.

Then to sarcastically say "Thanks, guys" after you get voted off. Please. I mean, you came up with this elaborative plot to vote off a guy you had promised you wouldn't vote off. But GOD FORBID they do that to you.

Highlight of the episode has to be Eliza's reaction, though.

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