Chris Benoit: One Year Later

It was one year ago today that Chris Benoit went from being one of the most universally respected grapplers amongst his peers to the biggest blemish the wrestling industry has ever experienced.

Despite the 365 days that have passed, I still haven't come close to forgiving Chris Benoit for the atrocities that he had committed. There are many people that argue that his entire life shouldn't be summed up by the actions of one weekend, but I disagree. There are others who say that we should be able to separate his undeniable talent with what he had done, citing O.J. Simpson as a comparison. These people claim that they can still appreciate Simpson's football achievements and can still laugh at his performance in the Naked Gun movies.

I don't think that's a fair comparison, however. Evidence suggests that Chris Benoit used a variation of his Crippler Crossface to murder his 7-year old son. How could you ever watch him perform that maneuver, as his opponent cries for mercy, knowing that? For that matter, there's a belief that extensive brain damage sustained from the abuse he took in the ring led him to commit these acts. To me, that makes it enormously uncomfortable seeing him take chairshots to the head, knowing that it may indirectly lead to him brutally killing his wife and son. I can honestly say that in the full year since his passing, I haven't watched one second of a single Chris Benoit match. And I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to do so.

While I've never met Chris Benoit, I still took his heinous actions personally. While I'm sure there were subtle differences between Chris Benoit the person and Chris Benoit the wrestling personality, people -- myself included -- were cheering HIM on during all of his matches. When he won the World Heavyweight Championship in the main event of the biggest show in history, fans were happy for the person. That's an enormous difference than, say, The Undertaker, where people are clearly getting behind the character. No, Chris Benoit was never my favorite wrestler. But he was a person that I became emotionally invested in.

It also drives me crazy the way people want to blame anybody BUT Chris Benoit. It wasn't Chris Benoit's fault that he took steroids. No, it was the industry that made smaller wrestlers feel like they have to be hulking monsters in order to get to the top. It wasn't Chris Benoit's fault that he had suffered so much head trauma that his brain resembled that of an 80-year old Alzheimer's patient. Never mind the fact that he was certainly aware that his flying headbutt did severe damage (being that the previous person to perform that move, the Dynamite Kid, is crippled) but opted to do it anyway, even though he had a plethora of credible maneuvers that he could use instead.

I will also never, ever forget one match in which Triple H ran down and hit every person in the ring with a steel chair. One of those unfortunate bastards was Chris Benoit, who took an unprotected shot right to the back of the head. I will never forget that sound, or the dent on the seat of the chair. Or Chris Benoit, lying on the canvas, in a very real puddle of his own blood. And Benoit wasn't even involved in the Triple H feud at that time, he was just some inconsequential bystander. Was such a damaging chairshot (it should be noted that nobody else in the ring took such an unprotected shot) worth it? To put it simply, taking those extremely dangerous and stupid chairshots was his own decision. There were people above him on the card and below him on the card who would protect themselves. It had nothing to do with politics or the glass ceiling. It was just moronic, plain and simple.

It should also be noted that throughout his entire WWE career, he was almost ALWAYS with a championship of some sort (whether it was the IC, US, World Heavyweight, Tag Team, or whatnot). He was also able to take a several month long break, and in his second match back, reclaimed the very title he was competing for before his departure (proving that his hiatus didn't cost him his spot).

Perhaps part of the reason why I will probably never forgive Chris Benoit for what he did is because, to me, there's absolutely no excuse whatsoever. I don't care if it was steroid abuse, or too much testosterone, or severe brain damage, I just can't reconcile with the fact that he murdered his wife, and then ONE FULL DAY LATER he decides to kill his son. Some reports indicate that he took his son swimming in their pool, while his wife's dead body was bound and bleeding in the upstairs family room. Furthermore, the guy had the wherewithal to consistently tell an elaborate lie to his co-workers (and possibly neighbors) about the people he had just murdered being sick. Hell, after killing his wife and young son, he was still aware enough to make sure that the dogs were cared for.

I don't intend to simplify a weekend that was obviously anything but that, but to me these were the actions of an appalling monster, not somebody who suddenly snapped. He's not worth defending or making excuses for. He's just a monster and a coward. And nothing he did in the ring or during the other 40 years of his life will ever outweigh what he did that weekend.

In the days after Benoit's death, I wrote THIS PIECE for InsidePulse.com. Give it a read for a look back at my immediate feelings following this tragic event.