A phenomenal opening 20 minutes!

Alright, I'll cool it down with all the wrestling talk shortly (don't worry, there's a Heroes commentary coming your way!), but I just HAD to comment on the opening 20 minutes of tonight's Raw. In my last post I proposed that Raw go until September without a World Champion, creating a real sense of desperation for the brand before CM Punk decides to cash in his Money in the Bank title shot, unseating Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship and bringing the title back to Raw.

Well, the WWE took my advice, albeit on a much shorter scale. Beggars truly can't be choosers, because the way it was handled was truly near-flawless. The show opened with JR, who had been announcing for Raw for the past decade before being drafted to Smackdown last week, giving his farewell address. After talking for about 10 minutes, World Heavyweight Champion and Smackdown Superstar Edge came down to gloat about his victory at last night's Pay-Per-View. In a truly awesome moment, he then had his minions escort JR out of the ring (this was an excellent touch, as it gave a logical explanation for where they were later on). After promising the Raw fans that they'd never see him again, Edge started making his exit.

It was at this time that I was near the edge of my seat waiting for CM Punk's music to play. But, instead, Edge's music played. And instead of his music being interrupted, he started walking up the aisle. It wasn't until he reached the stage that somebody else's entrance theme played....but it wasn't CM Punk's. It was Batista's.

And after a brief staredown, the big man went on an absolute rampage, ripping apart the Rated R Superstar and making him pay for his cheap victory last night. After Batista unleashed his fury on Edge, I AGAIN was hoping for Punk's music to play. But instead, Batista's theme played as he began to exit.

I finally came to accept that perhaps WWE wasn't going to take advantage of this perfect opportunity. Maybe this was just their way of allowing Batista to get the upper hand without winning the title, now that he and Edge are on different brands. But as Batista reached the stage, CM Punk's music DID finally play. And out he came, with his briefcase in his hand and a referee at his side.

Punk hurried to the ring as Edge staggered to his feet. The challenger anxiously awaited Lillian Garcia's announcement that this is officially a title match. And just as the bell rang, Punk lifted Edge onto his shoulders and hit him with a GREAT looking GTS. He pinned the champion, and won the World Heavyweight Championship. And the best part is that this win wasn't in the least bit cheap, since Edge utilized this EXACT ploy not once, but TWICE! It was the perfect "taste of his own medicine" scenario. And despite the fact that I'm probably the biggest Edge fan you'll ever meet (I was a fan even BEFORE his Brood days), I was actually cheering out loud when Punk won the title. It was that well played out.

And although this wasn't a multi-month long angle in which Punk was made the savior of Raw with the entire roster getting behind him, the writers did do a commendable job of establishing the importance of Punk's title win, with both Rey Mysterio and John Cena making it a point to congratulate him during their in-ring promos.

For the first time in a long time, I honestly felt like I was seeing something different. And, as expected, the status quo has now been restored: Raw has the World Heavyweight Championship, Smackdown has the WWE Championship, and ECW has the ECW Championship.

UPDATE: Watch the scene, nearly in its entirety:

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Night of Possibilities

I don't normally comment on the non-Big Four Pay-Per-Views, but I must admit that I am very intrigued by the possibilities of this Sunday's Night of Champions. Actually, even without the hoopla of the Draft, I think that a PPV completely devoted to defending each championship is a novel idea. Theoretically, your champions ARE supposed to be your top wrestlers, so it's a bit disheartening how rarely some of them are defending on a grand stage. This is especially true for the tag titles, and more recently the Intercontinental Championship, which has not been defended at a Pay-Per-View event since, goodness, last August's SummerSlam (can that actually be right?) Hell, champion Chris Jericho doesn't even take the belt with him to the ring for his promos anymore! For that matter, I also don't agree with the criticism of "there are too many championships!" Whine, whine, bitch, bitch. That's a load of bull, really. I mean, the same people who complain about how there are too many championships also argue that most of the roster is underutilized.

Anyway, does anybody remember the old Voltron cartoon from the 80's, where the guy in the red costume controlled the black robot lion, the guy in the blue costume controlled the red lion, and the girl in the pink costume controlled the blue lion (the green and yellow guys were correctly coordinated with their lion)? Well, following last Monday's draft, that pretty much sums up the title situation as well. The ECW Championship is on Raw, the United States Championship (formerly a Smackdown exclusive) is now on ECW, and both the WWE and World Heavyweight Championships are on Smackdown. If I were a betting man (which I'm not), I'd say that by the end of the night, things are restored to normal, with ECW's Mark Henry returning the ECW Championship to its proper show, and either John Cena defeating Triple H or Batista defeating Edge to bring one of the World titles to Raw (probably the former).

There's about a 40% chance that they'll swerve us, though, and if they're going to do that, why not try something REALLY adventurous? Something that if handled properly, can legitimize the ECW Championship as a REAL World title, make Smackdown really attractive to its new network, and give Matt Hardy and CM Punk credibility as main event players. Although it'll never happen, here's something to consider:

All three World Champions retain their titles at Night of Champions. Edge is still World Heavyweight Champion, Triple H is still WWE Champion, and both titles remain on Smackdown. Meanwhile, Kane holds onto his ECW Championship, making it the #1 title on Raw. Basically during this time, have Raw treat the ECW Championship just as they did the WWE Championship. Don't even have them acknowledge that the other two World titles are on Smackdown. As far as Raw is concerned, they DO have a World Champion. It just has the red ECW logo on it. If they want to give that title to a "bigger" name like John Cena or Batista, so be it. But for the sake of this fantasy, we'll just make matters easier and keep it on Kane. So, basically, make the ECW Championship the most sought after title on Raw. I keep hearing WWE higher ups (particularly Jim Ross) tell us that we shouldn't care that the WWE Championship is all blinged out. So why should it matter if it's got the ECW logo on it? It's all about how the title is treated and how they present it.

Meanwhile, on ECW, center the show around Matt Hardy and the United States Championship. During the past year or so, the ECW Championship has lost so much credibility that it truly was no more prestigious than the US or Intercontinental Championships, so it's not really a "demotion" to make that belt the centerpiece of the show. This would hopefully boost Matt Hardy's credibility amongst fans.

Finally, on Smackdown, create a bit of a war of supremacy between World Champion Edge and WWE Champion Triple H, with both arguing that THEIR belt is the REAL #1 title on Smackdown. Have Edge try to instigate people to attempt to dethrone Triple H as champion, and have Triple H manipulate La Familia to create some tension within the ranks. This angle would also allow them to effectively delay the Edge vs. Triple H title match that will inevitably happen when only one championship ultimately remains on the show. Since these two have never had an extended singles feud, they shouldn't screw the pooch and give away the match immediately. Besides which, how can we ignore the irony that in the storyline, Edge is constantly being made champion because of his relationship with the boss, when Triple H has been accused of the very same in real life.

As some "filler" feuds in the meantime, they can always do Triple H vs. The Great Khali for the WWE Championship, and Edge vs. Big Show or Jeff Hardy, perhaps, for the World Heavyweight Championship. The fact that the two most prestigious championships are on this program, once viewed as the "B-Show," could make it awfully attractive when it moves to MyNetworkTV (Lamest. Name. EVER).

Going into August, I believe ECW's partnership will shift from Smackdown over to Raw. At this point, I'll start to retain original the status quo. I'd have Matt Hardy drop the United States Championship to a Smackdown midcarder in line for a push, perhaps Carlito or Shelton Benjamin (or to make things REALLY interesting, maybe even Jeff Hardy). When the ECW/Raw talent exchange begins, I'd have Kane defend the ECW Championship on his show again. Within a couple of weeks, I'd have him drop it to an official ECW Superstar, probably either Mark Henry (since they seem intent on pushing him), Finlay, or even Matt Hardy. The new champion can then proclaim that he will only defend his championship against ECW Superstars (if it's a heel, it can be portrayed as cowardice, if it's a face, it can be shown as brand loyalty).

Now, Raw is without a World Championship. How would we get one of the two Smackdown titles over there, when a "talent exchange" between the two shows doesn't exist?

Enter CM Punk and his Money in the Bank contract.

I'd have Raw go several weeks without a World Champion -- at least until Smackdown premieres on its new network, which I assume would be sometime in September. At this point, I'd have the announcers bring up this fact, and discuss the severe repercussions. Talk about the time that Brock Lesnar exclusively signed with Smackdown while he was Undisputed Champion, or when Rob Van Dam brought the WWE Championship to ECW. Discuss how Raw has never gone this long without a World Championship, and how it's truly unprecedented. Have up and coming Raw Superstars discuss how they always dreamed of becoming WWE or World Heavyweight Champion, but now that dream will never come true. Have Raw veterans who have never won the "Big One" talk about how they may not have many years left to compete, and how the lack of a World Championship could deprive them of fulfilling THEIR dream before hanging up the boots.

In fact, I can imagine one of the scenes now: you could have some of the younger talent in the dressing room, such as CM Punk, Charlie Haas, Ted Dibiase, Cody Rhodes, Cryme Tyme, Paul London, Kofi Kingston, and a few others, discussing this very fact. They'll note that there's nothing they can do, and that there's no way to bring one of the Smackdown titles over to Raw (they can even add that Vickie Guerrero is doing everything she can to ensure that both titles remain on her show). Have them all leave the dressing room, except for CM Punk. Just as he's about to leave, he realizes that he almost forgot something, and he grabs his Money in the Bank briefcase by its handle. Before picking it up, he contemplates something, as if a lightbulb just went off in his head. He briefly looks down at the briefcase, and then smirks before going to a commercial break. When the show returns, as CM Punk makes his way to the ring for his match, have the announcers speculate whether he's going to cash in his title shot to bring a World title back to Raw. Obviously, have Punk win cleanly, and afterwards have him grab the mic and announce that he will be cashing in his title shot at the next Pay Per View, and that he will bring a World Championship back to Raw.

This, in effect, can make CM Punk the savior of Raw. It also creates a logical reason for making HIM the center of the show for a few weeks, and not "bigger" stars like John Cena or Batista. It will also create a HUGE match feel, with all of the Raw roster getting behind CM Punk. And for good reason. They won't be using the highly inconsistent "brand loyalty" excuse. Instead, all of Raw want CM Punk to win so that THEY have a World Championship to compete for. Go a couple of weeks of having Punk tease which title he'll go for before ultimately choosing Edge.

And, finally, at the PPV, have Punk win the big one. During the match, have the Raw Superstars backstage anxiously watching the match. If they don't want to sacrifice Edge with a clean loss, they can have Triple H distract him (which would make sense, since he wants to be the supreme champion of Smackdown) to cost him the match. After Punk's victory, have all of Raw come down and celebrate with him, lifting him up on their shoulders.

So at the end of this angle, which would last well into September, a few key things would be accomplished if done correctly:

• Smackdown cleanses itself of that dreadful "B-Show" perception....
• Matt Hardy becomes a credible main eventer and centerpiece for his show....
• CM Punk becomes a credible main eventer and, for a time, centerpiece for his show....
• The ECW Championship becomes a legitimate World title....
• This would also show that the Draft has long-lasting consequences. When titles and wrestlers are traded to new shows, matters aren't neatly and conveniently resolved in six days...

And best of all, at the end of the day, everything championship-wise is more-or-less back to normal! The United States Championship is back on Smackdown, the ECW Championship is back on ECW, and the World Heavyweight Championship is on Raw.

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Unnecessary Censorship

I'm not a big fan of Jimmy Kimmel, but this is pretty damn funny. Enjoy:

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Chris Benoit: One Year Later

It was one year ago today that Chris Benoit went from being one of the most universally respected grapplers amongst his peers to the biggest blemish the wrestling industry has ever experienced.

Despite the 365 days that have passed, I still haven't come close to forgiving Chris Benoit for the atrocities that he had committed. There are many people that argue that his entire life shouldn't be summed up by the actions of one weekend, but I disagree. There are others who say that we should be able to separate his undeniable talent with what he had done, citing O.J. Simpson as a comparison. These people claim that they can still appreciate Simpson's football achievements and can still laugh at his performance in the Naked Gun movies.

I don't think that's a fair comparison, however. Evidence suggests that Chris Benoit used a variation of his Crippler Crossface to murder his 7-year old son. How could you ever watch him perform that maneuver, as his opponent cries for mercy, knowing that? For that matter, there's a belief that extensive brain damage sustained from the abuse he took in the ring led him to commit these acts. To me, that makes it enormously uncomfortable seeing him take chairshots to the head, knowing that it may indirectly lead to him brutally killing his wife and son. I can honestly say that in the full year since his passing, I haven't watched one second of a single Chris Benoit match. And I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to do so.

While I've never met Chris Benoit, I still took his heinous actions personally. While I'm sure there were subtle differences between Chris Benoit the person and Chris Benoit the wrestling personality, people -- myself included -- were cheering HIM on during all of his matches. When he won the World Heavyweight Championship in the main event of the biggest show in history, fans were happy for the person. That's an enormous difference than, say, The Undertaker, where people are clearly getting behind the character. No, Chris Benoit was never my favorite wrestler. But he was a person that I became emotionally invested in.

It also drives me crazy the way people want to blame anybody BUT Chris Benoit. It wasn't Chris Benoit's fault that he took steroids. No, it was the industry that made smaller wrestlers feel like they have to be hulking monsters in order to get to the top. It wasn't Chris Benoit's fault that he had suffered so much head trauma that his brain resembled that of an 80-year old Alzheimer's patient. Never mind the fact that he was certainly aware that his flying headbutt did severe damage (being that the previous person to perform that move, the Dynamite Kid, is crippled) but opted to do it anyway, even though he had a plethora of credible maneuvers that he could use instead.

I will also never, ever forget one match in which Triple H ran down and hit every person in the ring with a steel chair. One of those unfortunate bastards was Chris Benoit, who took an unprotected shot right to the back of the head. I will never forget that sound, or the dent on the seat of the chair. Or Chris Benoit, lying on the canvas, in a very real puddle of his own blood. And Benoit wasn't even involved in the Triple H feud at that time, he was just some inconsequential bystander. Was such a damaging chairshot (it should be noted that nobody else in the ring took such an unprotected shot) worth it? To put it simply, taking those extremely dangerous and stupid chairshots was his own decision. There were people above him on the card and below him on the card who would protect themselves. It had nothing to do with politics or the glass ceiling. It was just moronic, plain and simple.

It should also be noted that throughout his entire WWE career, he was almost ALWAYS with a championship of some sort (whether it was the IC, US, World Heavyweight, Tag Team, or whatnot). He was also able to take a several month long break, and in his second match back, reclaimed the very title he was competing for before his departure (proving that his hiatus didn't cost him his spot).

Perhaps part of the reason why I will probably never forgive Chris Benoit for what he did is because, to me, there's absolutely no excuse whatsoever. I don't care if it was steroid abuse, or too much testosterone, or severe brain damage, I just can't reconcile with the fact that he murdered his wife, and then ONE FULL DAY LATER he decides to kill his son. Some reports indicate that he took his son swimming in their pool, while his wife's dead body was bound and bleeding in the upstairs family room. Furthermore, the guy had the wherewithal to consistently tell an elaborate lie to his co-workers (and possibly neighbors) about the people he had just murdered being sick. Hell, after killing his wife and young son, he was still aware enough to make sure that the dogs were cared for.

I don't intend to simplify a weekend that was obviously anything but that, but to me these were the actions of an appalling monster, not somebody who suddenly snapped. He's not worth defending or making excuses for. He's just a monster and a coward. And nothing he did in the ring or during the other 40 years of his life will ever outweigh what he did that weekend.

In the days after Benoit's death, I wrote THIS PIECE for InsidePulse.com. Give it a read for a look back at my immediate feelings following this tragic event.

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Why does Vince McMahon die at every draft?

"The rich get richer" - Tazz

I'll refrain from making my full judgment until after the supplement draft, which typically occurs throughout the rest of the night (or week, in some instances), but overall I'm pretty disappointed with some of the draft picks. Basically, the show that was least in need of new stars (Raw) got the most, while the brand that most desperately needed top talent (ECW) not only lost their top stars, but didn't gain a solid main eventer in return.

I mean, if anything showed how stacked the Raw roster is, and how castrated ECW has become, it was the battle royal at the end of the night. Again, some major changes could occur over the next week, but it's a bit ridiculous that Raw got an astounding 5 draft picks, while ECW got ONE! Hell, ECW lost their CHAMPION (Kane) and their most marketable personality (CM Punk).

I think the best thing that could have happened was for Matt Hardy and Chavo Guerrero to win the tri-branded battle royal. It would have instantly made both competitors credible main eventers, it would have added some intrigue to their Night of Champions match, and it would have shown the audience that although they aren't considered top stars, they have what it takes to topple the most stacked roster in recent history. Most importantly, it would have given ECW two draft picks (for what it's worth, given the options, I would have drafted the Big Show and Chris Jericho, perhaps?)

Anyway, since I can't turn back time, I'll just comment on the trades that were made.

Moving Batista to Raw and Triple H to Smackdown was clever, because it leaves people wondering whether they'll have Cena win the WWE Championship this Sunday to keep that title on Raw, or if Edge will drop the World Heavyweight Championship to Batista, effectively switching the World titles between the shows. I imagine they'll retain the status quo of both shows having a World Champion (I'll get to the ECW Title in a bit), so I suppose the result of the first title match will give away the ending of the second one. Although I could easily see them trying to swerve us.

I think it was a mistake to move CM Punk to Raw, not only because it REALLY hurts ECW, but also because I can easily see Punk getting lost in the shuffle at his new home. I mean, he went from a big fish in a small pond to a small fish in a big pond. If they were determined to get him off of the C-brand, I think he would have been better suited for Smackdown. Nevertheless, I imagine he'll be winning the Intercontinental Title, perhaps as early as Sunday.

For that same reason I question them moving Kane back to Raw. On ECW he's the Champion and one of the centerpieces of the show. He's absolutely, positively not going to be in that position on Raw. I do wonder if they'll have Kane keep the ECW gold until the talent exchange shifts from Smackdown to Raw, or if they'll have Big Show win it this Sunday, only to drop it to a legit ECW Superstar before the end of the Smackdown/ECW partnership.

I think Matt Hardy moving to ECW will be great for his career, for much the same reason I suggested Jeff move there. I'm interested in seeing what they do with the US Championship, though, again because it seems like the alliance between ECW and Smackdown will be ending shortly.

For that matter, Jeff moving to Smackdown will also mean big things for him, I believe. With Batista and Mysterio now on Raw, he'll instantly take his place as one of the top faces on the program. Ditto for Kennedy. And I really hope that they remember the Money in the Bank angle between him and World Champion Edge.

Umaga desperately needed a new environment, but given the lack of depth of the ECW roster, I think he probably should have moved there.

I'm torn on Mysterio's move. While he has exhausted pretty much every conceivable feud on Smackdown, he's just such a fixture on that program. Again, I think his star power and natural abilities would have done worlds of good for ECW. On Raw, he still needs to compete with Cena, Batista, and Michaels.

As I write this, it also occurs to me how incredibly face-heavy Raw is right now. After the draft, they have Cena, Batista, Mysterio, Kane, CM Punk, and Michaels. Who do they have on the heel side? Jericho, JBL, and an injured Randy Orton?

Switching Cole and JR may take a bit to get used to, but I think it'll instantly give Smackdown that much-needed "A-Show" feel. No matter how much JR's performance has dropped over the years (and some might say it hasn't), the man just EXUDES credibility.

And regarding the McMahon "set accident" thing... Given what happened in the wake of last year's McMahon death angle, I think they're tempting fate here. I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention that a REAL set malfunction took the life of a technical worker at a TNA Pay-Per-View just a few weeks ago. Nevertheless, this gives them a reason to back out of the whole Million Dollar Mania thing. I'll give it a shot before I condemn it to Hell.

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Get Smart

I know what you're thinking. You're probably asking yourself "What does a photo with a Kung Fu Panda statue have to do with Get Smart?" Well, honestly, not too much. However, if you recall from my Hulk review, I was disappointed that the theater I went to had their Hulk statue placed in a very awkward location, making it difficult to take a photo in front of the mighty beast. However, when I went to a different theater for Get Smart last night, I was very pleased to discover that they not only had a Hulk statue in a very convenient location, they also had a Kung Fu Panda statue AND life sized cardboard cut outs of the cast of High School Musical. While I've never actually seen any of the High School Musical movies, I'm a bit enamored with Vanessa Hudgens, so it was still cool.

So anyway, after the movie had finished, my friend and I walked towards the Hulk statue so that I could get even better photos than I did last weekend. However, as you can see, we never snapped that photo. For, you see, sitting in front of the statue was a teenaged male, who was straightening his hair (?!?!?!) with a BRIGHT GREEN HAIR STRAIGHTENER that he had plugged into one of the wall outlets. And it was about midnight at this point, too. We were so creeped out by the scene that I decided to cut my losses and just take a photo with the Kung Fu Panda statue as a consolation prize. Undoubtedly, it was one of the oddest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

But, aside from that, Get Smart was an enjoyable, worthwhile movie experience. Click below for my review of the movie. Be warned, key plot points will be revealed, so avoid reading if you haven't seen it yet and don't want to be spoiled.

Before I get to my actual review, another interesting thing happened during the previews. One of the trailers was for Kevin Costner's Swing Vote. I had seen a preview for this a couple of months ago, I think for Forgetting Sarah Marshall. However, for that preview, the movie was portrayed as a sorta goofy, out-there comedy, in which the character of the daughter didn't even appear. In this trailer, however, the film was pushed as a sweet, semi-meaningful comedy. I always get a kick out of it when movies completely alter their ad campaigns, to the extent that it doesn't even appear to be the same movie.

Anyway, to Get Smart (finally). I think that my earlier description of the film summed it up best: It's enjoyable and worthwhile. Is it the funniest movie you'll ever see? No. In fact, it's probably not even the funniest Steve Carell movie you'll ever see. That being said, I certainly think that it was worth the $10 I spent and the hour and a half it took to watch it. While I wasn't necessarily holding my sides, the movie was consistently funny and didn't really seem to drag at any point.

I am curious, though, how longtime fans of the Get Smart television series will react to the movie adaptation. One important distinction is that Steve Carell is not playing Don Adams playing Maxwell Smart, he's simply playing Maxwell Smart. Ultimately, I think this was a wise decision. Not only would it have likely been a distraction hearing Steve Carell speak in the classic Maxwell Smart/Inspector Gadget voice, but it would also be a disservice to Steve Carell's comedic abilities. For that matter, from what I recall of the original series, Anne Hathaway bore very little resemblance to TV's Agent 99. But, again, I think it was more important to play the actors' strengths than to necessarily stay completely true to the characters' personalities (and for what it is worth, the movie DID make it clear to the audience that while the characters are the same, the events of the TV series was a different time period).

Speaking of Anne Hathaway, while I've always found her attractive, she looked positively AMAZING in this movie. Man, her stock went up SIGNIFICANTLY after this film. Bravo. Bravo, indeed. And on a less sexist note, her on-screen chemistry with Steve Carrel -- an unlikely couple -- was believable, and really helped make the film cute and sweet.

As a wrestling fan, of course I must mention Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Now that I think about it, this may very well be the first time I've seen him in a movie at the theaters. Not surprisingly, he did a remarkable job. He truly is a very charming, charismatic individual with great comedic timing. It's wonderful that he's managed to find his niche in the film industry. I'm a bit disappointed that he won't be in the sequel, should one be made, although my friend predicted his "heel turn" about halfway through the movie. And while the prospect of Steve Carrel and The Rock kissing is funny as it is, it was made even more humorous by his sounds of resistance (for lack of a better description). The Great Khali was also surprisingly effective in his role. I loved it when he abandoned Max and Agent 99 after he had made peace with them, leading Max to say "He just left us. What a douche."

Oh, and Masi Oka was in it, too! Hiro! Sure, his role was brief, but when he did appear it was absolutely hilarious. Especially the scene in which he and his partner are pretending to hold up Max. The fake fight, in which Masi's character reacts to Max's punch in the wrong direction, was great. I also enjoyed Terrence Stamp's role as one of the lead villains. It was a bit weird seeing him on screen, after only hearing his voice (as Jor-El) for the past several years on Smallville. Brought back some great Zod memories, though.

Other great scenes include Max's attempts to shoot a dart into the rope tying his arms together, leading to repeated catastrophe; the dance off; President James Caan, in general; the "If I were in Control, you'd already be dead"/"If you were in Control, I'd have already killed you"/"Well we're both alive, so I must not be in Control" interaction; Max's surprising instances of competency; Max accidentally setting the trap with the beads; and the opening sequence, when Max accidentally drops a sheet of paper and then must rush through the rapidly closing doors (a funny take on the television series' opening credits). Did I miss anything?

Like I said, overall it was a fun film. I recommend it for anybody looking for a good laugh, and not much more. In my opinion, it's worth seeing in the theaters.

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Why I can't wait for Season 5 of Lost....

Not surprisingly, "Television" has been the most voted upon blog topic of discussion. Like I said, I'm not shocked, and I certainly don't mind writing about television shows. BUT I am going to request that you guys provide a little interaction here. I've had a few readers leave comments, and it's been greatly appreciated. Even if you don't necessarily have anything deep and "insightful" to say, your thoughts are still greatly encouraged. As I've said in the past, I' d like this blog to be a place of discussion, not just me spewing my thoughts. And hey, just because Lost is on a lengthy hiatus doesn't mean we still can't discuss it, right?

Now that some time has passed since the finale and things have calmed down a bit, fans have likely reconciled what happened in the season's final episode and have started to contemplate what will happen in season five. I know I have, and let me tell you, I am psyched.

I'm sure this comes as no surprise to anybody who has ever discussed the show with me or to anybody who regularly reads my columns. But the reason I am so excited for next season is because, in all likelihood, it's going to be so much different than anything we've ever seen before.

I won't pretend to know what format the show will take during its fifth season. Will the flashbacks/forwards be completely abandoned in favor of switching between the narratives of the Oceanic Six and those that were left behind? Will the Oceanic Six story arc pick up from where we left off (in the "future" with a distraught Jack and dead Locke), or will it take place from when they first returned home and lead up to that point? Will it primarily focus on the Oceanic Six trying to return to the island, or will the season focus mostly on the apparently terrible things that happened to those that remained on the island?

I don't know the answer to any of those questions. But if the writers choose any of those above scenarios, it'll be unlike anything the show has previously done. Personally, I am exceptionally intrigued by the Oceanic Six storyline. Some fans are disappointed by which characters make up the sextet, arguing that the majority of those characters are also the most bland and overexposed. While that criticism does carry some weight, I ultimately have to disagree. And that's why I can't wait for the next season.

Consider this: Despite being exceptionally flawed, Jack has ALWAYS been a very together, mostly level headed hero and leader. Assuming that the next season picks up where we left off, suddenly Jack is anything but that. He has also been the ONE character that has managed to resist Ben's manipulation, a trap that Locke, Hurley, Michael, and hellm even Sawyer have fallen into at some point. But never really Jack, even when he was being "blackmailed" into saving Ben's life. That is a far cry from the man we saw in the funeral parlor in the final moments of last season. That Jack was anything but together. And that Jack was putty in Ben's hands. No longer was he this confident, certain leader. Instead he was a broken man in extreme emotional distress. To put it simply, compare the interaction between Jack and Ben in the funeral parlor to their confrontation at the end of season three, when Ben was threatening the lives of Jin, Sayid, and Bernard. It's like night and day.

For that matter, despite all of her noble qualities, Kate has always been -- particularly in the beginning of the series -- in it for herself. I don't mean to imply that she would ever sabotage anybody else's chances of rescue or survival (like Ben), because we know she wouldn't. But there have been numerous instances where she has put herself in a situation that would be purely beneficial to her and nobody else (like trying to get on the raft so that she could make a quick escape upon their rescue, and kidnapping Miles to find out if the people on the freighter know who she is). Kate now finds herself in a scenario in which SHE is not the most important person in her life, Aaron is. She can no longer make decisions that are in her best interest. Instead, she must consider what's best for Aaron.

And despite what I said about her earlier, Kate is NOT selfish. She's actually exceptionally loyal, especially to Jack and Sawyer. Yet, again, she's in a situation where she can't simply return to the island because Jack wants her to. Or because she wants to save Sawyer. That's no longer the case. Neither Jack or Sawyer is the man in her life anymore. Aaron is.

The change in characters don't end there. While Sun undeniably gained independence during her time on the island, she appears to be much colder and more calculated now that she's returned to her homeland. She's working towards usurping her father and she's willing to work with the "devil," namely Charles Widmore. While Sun has seemingly been one of the more selfless characters on the series, she now seems to be in business for herself. From what I've gathered, she's willing to do whatever it takes to avenge her husband's death. It doesn't matter who she has to align herself with or who she has to take down. In the end, it's about making those responsible for Jin's apparent death pay.

It's also worth noting that Jack mentioned how Sun won't even speak to him and that she blames him for what happened to Jin. This is interesting because on more than one occasion, when Jin and Sun have been separated, Jin would tell her to "stay close to Jack."

Then there's Hurley. While he's obviously not "heroic" in the same sense as Jack or Sawyer, I've always considered him, in a way, the emotional center and spirit of the show. He was the one person universally liked by the characters and audience alike. Along with that, when things between characters would get volatile, more often than not it was Hurley who calmed the situation. As a member of the Oceanic Six, Hurley has committed himself to a psychiatric ward, even though he doesn't REALLY need to be there (after all, both Jack and Kate have been haunted by dead people). And when push comes to shove, Hurley always seemed to come through and do something heroic. But since their return, Jack has had to rescue him mentally, and Sayid has had to come to his rescue physically. He truly seems more helpless than ever before.

Speaking of Sayid, for much of the time on the island, the former Iraqi soldier was the diplomat of the group. He'd handle hostage exchanges and strategic matters. And despite all of his instances of torture or harmful threats, he actually rarely took anybody's life. He had mercy on Locke after Boone died, and he spared Ana Lucia when she accidentally killed Shannon. Yet in the "future" Sayid is a cold hearted killer. Sure, one might justify his hired gun persona by arguing that he's protecting those on the island or that he's avenging his wife's murder, but that's neither here nor there. Again, consider that Sayid ultimately forgave Ana Lucia for what she had done. Off the island, he murdered Nadia's alleged killer solely based on Ben's word. Also keep in mind that while on the island, most perceived Sayid as a protector. Yet when he bursts into Hurley's psych ward room, Hurley's immediate reaction is a somewhat unfriendly and distant "why would I go with you?" Whether it was his experiences on the island or the murder of his wife -- or a combination of both -- Sayid is a very changed man.

And then, finally, there's Ben. For the entire time we've known him, he's been the antagonist. Even when he wasn't the villain, per se, his character was still, at its core, the heroes' primary obstacle. He was trying to prevent Jack and his crew from utilizing the freighter for their rescue. And even when he was "with" Locke and his team, he was still wasn't doing anything to help or assist them. While I don't have any delusions that Ben doesn't have an ulterior motive, there is definitely something selfless about his actions here. He can never return to the island, so having Jack et al go back to "fix" things doesn't appear to benefit him at all, yet he's doing it anyway. For that matter, moving the island, despite the fact that it would forever banish him, was in and of itself noble. It is far too early to anoint him for sainthood (after all, this is the guy who coldly proclaimed "so?" when he realized he had indirectly killed everybody on the freighter, after weeks of portraying him sympathetically), but I do believe that Ben, in his own way, has changed just as much as the other characters.

So yes, we may very well see more of Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sayid, Sun, and Ben, but I do think that these so-called overexposed characters will be much different than the ones we've been watching for the past four years. Like I said, I have no clue what format next season will take, but if it's anything like I think it will be, I predict that Lost will become something very fresh and different. Especially when you consider that this long diatribe has only focused on HALF of the cast!

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An anti-rant, of sorts....

It's easy to criticize companies when they screw up your order or provide no service to you whatsoever. And when you have a blog, it's especially tempting to go on a vicious rant, doing everything in your power to ensure that nobody uses that company ever again (Staples anybody?)

Well, I'm going to do the exact opposite.

Last week, I ordered a tie from JCrew, and when I received it at the beginning of this week, I was deeply disappointed in discovering that it was, in fact, for a child. Like an idiot, I had already torn off the tags, so I began to worry about whether or not I would even be able to exchange it. I wrote the company an e-mail, explaining that I did not realize the tie was for a child, and asked if I would be able to exchange it for the adult version, and that I would obviously pay the difference. Even though I hadn't received a response yet, I took the tie and package with me to work the next day, figuring that I could drop by the mall on my way home.

I had arrived at the mall fully loaded with a great story about how I had received an e-mail response from the company (lie) telling me that I could exchange it for the adult version (lie) and just pay the difference (another lie). However, when I got to the store, I unfortunately realized that they didn't have the adult version in stock. Nevertheless, I went to the cashier, fully prepared to give my lie-laden explanation of what happened, when he cut me off and simply said "I'll just give you a refund." Just like that. He took the item back, didn't even acknowledge the fact that the tags weren't on it, and gave me a complete refund of the purchase (minus what I had paid for shipping, obviously).

Later that day I received an apologetic e-mail from JCrew, saying that they were sorry that they didn't better explain that the tie was for a child (even though it was really my own fault) and that they were glad to see I was able to return my purchase at one of their stores.

A couple of days later I went back to the store to use the Red Phone (at the suggestion of my friend Erin) to order the adult version. The great thing is, if you use their Red Phone, THEY pay for the shipping!! Well, the woman on the other side of the line was exceptionally friendly and helpful.

I typically don't shop at JCrew just because it tends to be a bit out of my price range, but for anybody who is willing to spend $70 on a shirt, I highly suggest you consider shopping there. In my experience, everybody there has been extremely helpful, accommodating, and friendly. Big thumbs up!


Oh, and congratulations Jamie Lynn!

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The WWE Draft

With the three hour 2008 WWE Draft coming this Monday, I thought I'd share what brand changes I'd personally make. Now, this isn't purely fantasy booking, for the most part I try to stay realistic (like, for example, that Triple H would never move to ECW or something like that) and I try to retain the status quo (Raw's the #1 show, followed by Smackdown, with ECW in a distant third).

Now, just because Raw is clearly the favored brand, doesn't mean it has to be the top program by such a large margin. Therefore, I'd sacrifice very few top stars from Smackdown and ECW. For example, this year I think they'll be VERY tempted to move CM Punk from ECW and MVP from Smackdown, but I think both of those moves would be a TREMENDOUS error. I mean, consider that last year they traded Lashley from ECW, King Booker from Smackdown, and Mr. Kennedy from Smackdown. They all went to Raw, and what happened? Lashley and Booker asked for their release within a few months, and Mr. Kennedy surely isn't any higher on the card than he would have been had he stayed on the blue show. On the contrary, he would have had a tailor made feud with World Champion Edge upon his return from injury.

For that matter, CM Punk is one of the very, very few Superstars on ECW that is truly over and exceptionally marketable. While some might argue that his talent and marketability is being wasted on the C-show, I think it's also fair to say that he's one of the very few reasons to actually watch that show. Along with that, he's clearly one of the stars of the show on ECW. Should he be moved to Raw, he'd take a huge back seat to John Cena, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Jeff Hardy, and possibly even Mr. Kennedy. Trading him to Smackdown would be a slightly less terrible option, but still somewhat pointless given the whole talent exchange agreement (although, from what I understand, that may be switched over to Raw).

Before I provide my input, let me just say how curious the timing of this draft is: Namely, right BEFORE a Pay-Per-View in which every match is for a championship. So lets say, theoretically, Edge gets drafted but Batista doesn't. Wouldn't that, in a way, give away the ending? Part of me feels like they should just establish that every championship will remain on its respective brand, but that doesn't make matters much better. In that hypothetical above, Edge will either (a) lose the match and the title or (b) win the match and be stripped of the title. Why not wait a week and do it the Monday immediately after the PPV?

So what trades would I make? Lets start at the bottom-of-the-card guys that are doing absolutely nothing on their respective shows, but would surely benefit from some new scenary:

• Super Crazy to ECW: Personally, I'm not sure why this wasn't done when ECW was relaunched. He's an ECW original, and his style is more appropriate for the Tuesday night program anyway. He rarely appears on Raw, and with Heat now canceled, there's really no reason to keep him there.
• Val Venis to Smackdown: For the life of me, I don't know why Val Venis has been treated so poorly for the past several years. Here's a guy that is over, can speak, has a good look (although he has understandably let himself go a bit), and can speak. It's hard to believe that this guy was once considered an-almost-main-eventer. He desperately needs to be moved to another show, and I think he could fit in quite well with the more tag-team oriented Smackdown (maybe pair him up with Steven Richards).
• Chuck Palumbo to Raw: Why not move this guy over there and make him fodder to the upper midcard guys like Mr. Kennedy?
• Trevor Murdoch to Smackdown: Now that he and Cade have broken up and had their obligatory match, there's really no need to keep them on the same brand. And I can personally see him fitting in quite well with Jesse and Festus.
• Brian Kendrick to ECW: It seemed like they were going to turn him heel a couple of months ago, and he subsequently showed off a much more cocky personality. If that's the case, it seems like WWE is more serious about pushing him than London, so why not move him to ECW where he can really shine?
• Deuce to Raw: Much like Trevor Murdoch, since he's no longer in a tag team, there's no reason to keep him on the same show as his former partner. Why not move him to Raw, acknowledge that he's Jimmy Snuka's son, and give him a new gimmick?
• DH Smith to Smackdown: The poor boy is just floundering on Raw. Why not pair him up with Natalya Neidhart?
• Jamie Noble to ECW: With the Cruiserweight title deactivated, Noble has a lot more opportunities to shine on ECW than Smackdown.

Now onto the midcarders....

• Santino Marella & Carlito to Smackdown: These two are absolutely golden, and their talents are being wasted on Raw (where they either don't appear, or simply job out to the bigger stars). These guys could shine on the blue show.
• Elijah Burke to Raw: Trust me, I know that this could simply lead to him getting lost in the shuffle. But the problem is, he's already lost in the shuffle on ECW. In a true travesty, ECW only gets one match per PPV (which is a little ridiculous), and it's almost always the title match. Because of that, this guy has made, like, one PPV appearance since joining the brand (despite being a staple). As odd as it sounds, he'd probably get more exposure on Raw.
• Mike Knox to Raw: WWE has a tendency of building up big men on Smackdown and ECW, only to move them to Raw and completely castrate them within months. Last year it was Snitsky. This year it'll be Mike Knox.
• Mark Henry to ECW: They're already building him up to challenge for the ECW Championship, and if ECW is really going to be paired up with Raw in a short while anyway, why not make his move to the Land of the Extreme official?
• Chavo Guerrero & Bam Neely to Smackdown: Again, if the ECW/Smackdown partnership is ending, this allows La Familia to stick together.
• Gregory Helms to ECW: This fills the void left by Chavo Guerrero. And Helms working with CM Punk and the other Cruiserweights has a lot of possibilities that would not be available on Smackdown now that the Cruiserweight title is gone.

And since they inevitably switch around the Divas, here's a list of some trades. No explanation necessary, really:

• Maria to Smackdown
• Maryse to Raw
• Eve Torres to ECW
• Melina to Smackdown
• Cherry to Raw

And, finally, the main eventers:

• Umaga to Smackdown: This guy has done pretty much anything he can on Raw, to the extent that he's basically being jobbed out to the upper midcarders and main eventers. There are a lot of people there that he hasn't worked too much with, as well.
• Shawn Michaels or Chris Jericho to Smackdown: In a perfect world, both of these competitors would be going there, but unfortunately that will never happen. Michaels would be especially helpful to that program, since they need a fresh top face, but Jericho will do just as well.
• Update: Rey Mysterio to ECW: Like Super Crazy, he's an ECW original and would fit in with that style. It's also pretty likely he won't be getting another reign with the World Heavyweight Championship, but an ECW Championship run isn't out of the question.
• Update: Jeff Hardy to ECW: On Raw, he still takes a back seat to John Cena and Triple H, and during many periods he's really no higher up on the ladder than Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho. I think Jeff Hardy would really benefit from at least year on ECW, including a lengthy title run, before returning to Raw and appearing like a bigger star than when he left.

I know what you're thinking: What, Raw doesn't get ANY main eventers? Honestly, neither ECW or Smackdown can sacrifice their top stars. A lot of people would be tempted to put Batista on Raw, since he's hit a real rut on Smackdown, but I think it would be a little much to have John Cena, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, AND Batista on Raw. Hopefully the reshuffled rosters will open up some new feuds for him.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

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Heroes: So what went wrong?

You're probably asking, "How does the above video have anything to do with Heroes?" Well, in my opinion, it perfectly sums up the problem with season two. Trust me, I'm going someplace with this....

Much like that particular installment of The Itchy & Scratchy Show, much of the second season of Heroes was spent leading up to something climatic and exciting (and, in the case of everybody's favorite cartoon cat and mouse program, explosive), only for them completely miss the boat due to some more-or-less unrelated variable to introducing itself.

Take, for example, the Claire and Elle story arc. These two were both written rather spectacularly, with a wonderful "mirror" theme between them. Practically the entire season -- particularly the latter half -- was spent building up to these two going to battle in some super sexy, ultra intense rumble. They were kept at a distance for just the right amount of time, and their stories intertwined at the perfect moment.

Instead, HRG gets shot in an extremely emotional and powerful scene (which was immediately negated when we found out minutes later that he didn't actually die) and Elle decides to defend The Company when it is attacked by Sylar. And what became of the Claire/Elle throw down? Well, Claire punched a car window and made a few nonsensical threats (really, how would going to the press avenge her father's death?) the second to last episode of the season. That's it. Most definitely not the climatic battle we were all hoping for.

This isn't the only case of the show failing to follow through on what they had promised, whether explicitly or through their writing. The whole HRG/Mohinder taking down The Company arc was terribly mishandled, ultimately making Mohinder exceptionally unlikeable, and bringing HRG back to square one in a twist that made little to no sense. Along with that, we found out very, very little regarding the previous generation of heroes, in a volume titled "Generations."

Of course, I cannot ignore the fact that the strike probably hurt Heroes more than any other series. Nevertheless, I think my comparison stands. In the end, nobody really cared about Poochie. Everybody was just asking "When are they going to go to the fireworks factory?"

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LEAKED!!! Vince McMahon's Million Dollar Mania Phone Call!

Following last week's disaster, WWE wisely decided to pretape the Million Dollar Mania phone calls. Of course, it shouldn't surprise you that the calls have already been leaked on the Internet. Using my insider connections, I managed to find the MP3 of phone call #1 (the $200,000 winner):

Click here to listen!

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HULK SMASH!!!

So this past Saturday I saw The Incredible Hulk with my friend Neal, who, in addition to bearing a striking resemblance to the mighty green beast, also has an awesome music blog which I highly suggest you all check out. After being disappointed with X-Men 3 and Spider-Man 3, and not being overly interested in seeing either of the Fantastic Four movies, my enthusiasm for future Marvel movies were hinging on this movie.

To say the least, Hulk exceeded my expectations, and was quite possibly the best superhero movie I've seen since Batman Begins (which, incidentally, is the other acclaimed comic retcon movie). It really seemed to do everything right. It was intelligent and well written, but wasn't self-indulgent. The movie also recognized that the Hulk back story isn't exceptionally complex, and as such didn't devote an unnecessary amount of time to the origin. Along with that, it stayed pretty true to the comic book story (as best as I could tell), unlike the Ang Lee version, in which I was left scratching my head wondering if ANYBODY associated with the film had ever even read one of the comics.

I should also note that the movie theater had a life-sized, awesome looking Hulk statue standing in the lobby. This was awesome, as it allowed us to take some dorkish photos with it. But they had the statue positioned immediately in front of the velvet rope, making it difficult to try to take photos from the front. This meant that despite managing to take a couple of front photos (shown with Neal), we were forced to take much more awkward pictures standing behind it (shown with me).

Anyway, if you click below, you can read my full, spoiler-ific comments about the film.

Like most successful comic book movies, Hulk managed to find the right combination of story, action, continuity, and humor. In fact, there were several literal laugh out loud moments (these immediately come to mind: (a) "Don't make me hungry. You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry. No, that's not right." (b) "Where does she find these guys?" (c) "Is that all you got?" quickly followed by a Hulk foot to the chest, sliding the soldier across the park and crashing him into a tree. (d) Bruce Banner's "Oh SH--" reaction when he realized he might not Hulk-up). I also appreciated the "wink, wink" moments, like Bruce Banner thinking about wearing purple pants (a la the comic book character). Speaking of Bruce's pants, it was also cool getting an explanation to that whole "why don't his pants tear off" nitpick...he either wears pants that stretch or are several sizes too big.

This movie also managed to fix one of my big qualms with the last Hulk film: In the previous installment, neither Hulk or Bruce Banner ever did anything particularly heroic or selfless. Sure, there were select moments when Hulk/Bruce did something to protect Betty, but for the most part all of his actions were self-centered. While his actions in this movie were also motivated, for the most part, by saving and protecting Betty, there are several moments -- particularly at the end, when Bruce/Hulk does fight valiantly and heroically. Along with that, Bruce Banner as a character was much more likable, making him -- and Hulk, by proxy -- much easier to root for.

Finally, on a purely superficial level, Hulk looked freakin' awesome! And, coolest part of all, he ACTUALLY SAYS "HULK SMASH!!!!!" How awesome is that?!?!?! The final scene, with Robert Downey Jr. reprising his role as Iron Man, was also really cool, although not unexpected. Might they actually do an Avengers movie? Me hopes yes!

Anyway, movie highly recommended. Go see it!

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And the war rages on

A few weeks ago I discussed my dislike of Spike Lee, which was prompted by his verbal attack on Clint Eastwood. In a nutshell, Lee criticized Eastwood for not properly representing African American soldiers in his two World War II films.

Well, it seems that this little "rivalry" has escalated, shown in the video above. I think the first contributor hit the nail on the head: One of Eastwood's films was about a small group of soldiers that raised the American flag, and the historic individuals credited for that were not black. The next film was about the JAPANESE army, which, again, were not black. Even the second gentleman interviewed admitted that the "merited" criticism wasn't so much about Eastwood's films in particular. Instead, his films were bearing the burden of past movies that ignored the contribution made by African American soldiers.

Incidentally, I did some quick research on the subject, and according to my findings, the U.S. armed forces were not desegregated until 1948, three years AFTER World War II concluded. Therefore, during the war, the soldiers WERE racially divided, making it unlikely that black soldiers would be in a film about a troop of white soldiers, and vice versa.

Don't get me wrong. The brave African Americans who risked and sacrificed their lives during World War II should absolutely not be ignored and have every right for their stories to be told. They are heroic individuals, and I think it's wonderful that Spike Lee is providing their tale with such a grand platform. I just don't understand why you can't make a World War II film more or less exclusively about black soldiers without attacking a World War II film more or less exclusively about white soldiers. It's really too bad that these two films can't work in collaboration to show what these brave HUMAN BEINGS -- no matter their color or creed -- endured during the most widespread war in our history.

All of that being said, I will admit that saying "a guy like Spike Lee" was an exceptionally poor choice of words. Nevertheless, it's absolutely disgusting that Spike Lee would respond with "we're not on a plantation." I guess according to Spike Lee, if a white guy has a confrontation with a black guy, it automatically has a slavery undertone? That sort of appalling attitude does a tremendous injustice to the REAL instances of racism, which unfortunately are still very prevalent in this day and age.

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Stars and Starr

Over two months ago I suggested that the government intervene in order to curb the dangerous and escalating behavior of the paparazzi. Well, it seems as if that may very well become a reality according to this article on CNN.com. And at the forefront of this alleged initiative is Ken Starr, who ironically was public enemy #1 amongst many liberal Hollywood types following his infamous Bill Clinton investigation.

My solution is admittedly radical, but I think lawmakers are on the right track by proposing a "safe zone" that photographers must adhere to. Even if you ignore the impact paparazzi have on celebrities, it's hard to deny that some instances -- in particular, but not limited to, the extreme examples -- become a general public safety issue. As referenced in the article, if Britney Spears is stopped at a traffic light and her car is swarmed by paparazzi, every other car in that area is now at risk.

While writing this entry, I also came across another article about how France has strict laws regarding the paparazzi, especially when it comes to photographing children. There was an interesting distinction I thought I'd include:

"Let's say [Angelina Jolie] went to the French Open with her children, I would say, 'she's out in public and knows she'll be seen, there's no reason to ban the photo,' " said lawyer Daphne Juster, who regularly defends photographers. "But if she's strolling in the park in sunglasses, minding her own business, she could say, 'I tried to be discreet, this is not part of my public life,' and can sue."

I know that this quote refers to the strict French laws, and thus is not entirely relevant to my upcoming point, but -- and this might surprise some -- to a certain degree, I disagree with this statement. As I said in my original post, while celebrities' rights should not be violated, they shouldn't receive special treatment either. In my opinion, if a celebrity is walking down the street or shopping for groceries, people, whether they're paparazzi or simply an enamored fan, have every right to take a photograph. My issue is when paparazzi get so caught up on snapping these pictures that they create a disturbance that results in a dangerous environment, or if they're attempting to photograph somebody on their private property.

That is why I agree with the notion of a "safe zone." It doesn't prevent the paparazzi from taking their photos, but it respects the personal space of the celebrities and the safety of innocent bystanders. One might argue that they won't get that "money shot" of Angelina Jolie's just-born twins, or of Britney Spears with broccoli in her teeth, or of Miley Cyrus picking her nose, but at some point somebody has to take a stand and say that the ends don't justify the means.

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Whatcha gonna do?

So last night Hulk Hogan appeared on Larry King Live with hopes of subsiding the bad publicity he garnered from the recorded telephone conversations he had with his incarcerated son that were released to the media. To tell you the truth, from what I saw, I don't think he came off particularly well. I think his argument about the phone conversations were valid (only a small portion of a long conversation were released to the media), but there were times when he should have been humble and apologetic, but instead came off as disingenuous (particularly when he said he would have forgiven had this happened to Nick, and not John, basically judging the victim's family).

I find it interesting, though, how the IWC is attacking the Hulkster, considering how many of them are STILL making excuses for Internet-darling Chris Benoit. Here Hulk Hogan is saying some distasteful things to reassure his 17-year-old son, who is serving an 8-month prison sentence, much of it in solitary confinement. Meanwhile, Chris Benoit, ya' know, MURDERED his 7-year-old son. But, in fairness, he had just bound, gagged, and strangled the child's mother, and probably didn't want him to have to go through therapy later on in life.

Nevertheless, it's rich how Hulk Hogan has been labeled an asshole, while the IWC is constantly coming up with reasons why Chris Benoit isn't responsible for the far more terrible things that he had done. It was all the steroids he took! No, wait, it was extreme brain damage that he suffered due to decades years of chairshots and landing on his head! No, it was all the testosterone he was being injected with!!! I will also remind you that it wasn't Chris Benoit's fault that he was injecting himself with steroids or testosterone, or taking all those unprotected chairshots. Nope, that can be blamed on WWE and Vince McMahon.

But Hulk Hogan? The steroids and chairshots can't possibly be responsible for HIS behavior. No, he's just a greedy bastard. Nevermind that he's had an exceptionally crappy year, highlighted by a messy divorce after 23 years olf marriage, his son's accident and incarceration, and what is sure to be a very expensive civil suit. I'm not making excuses for Hogan's behavior -- the fact of the matter is, no matter what the context, what he said was pretty miserable -- but it bothers me how the same people who completely vilify Hogan refuse to believe that Chris Benoit could possibly be a psychotic monster.

I will say this in Hulk Hogan's defense, though: I love how his token bandanna always matches his outfit. I'm not even being sarcastic. I find it brilliant.

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Worth the money?

"The idea of giving your audience an incentive to watch is nothing new, nor is it pathetic. Obviously, it's the WWE's responsibility to ensure that they air a program that maintains that new and returning audience, or else they essentially wasted one million dollars a week." - Me, about 6 hours ago

I stand by my comment that it's ridiculous to criticize the Million Dollar Mania giveaway before it even happened, and I still insist that this ploy shouldn't be labeled as "pathetic" or "desperate." I also continue to stand by my point that this sweepstakes should not be interpreted as "we'll pay you to watch our show."

That being said, I do believe that WWE failed miserably on delivering a show that will encourage new and returning viewers to tune in each and every week. The matches were short and rather unspectacular. The two main events BOTH featured a cop-out ending. Explain to me how you manage to book matches that involve Snitsky and Cryme Time, and a skit with Charlie Haas (who hasn't appeared on WWE television in months) and Mae Young, but spectacular athletes like Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels, Paul London, and Brian Kendrick don't have matches?

Understandably, the centerpiece of the show was the million dollar giveaway. However, it consumed far too much time, and came off as exceptionally awkward and, well, boring. It took Vince FOREVER to dial the numbers, and on more than one occasion he either incorrectly dialed, accidentally hung up on the contestant, or got a busy signal. He also mistakenly hung up on a ringing phone because it played music instead of actually ringing, and he redialed a number before the dial tone. I was left wondering if this man even knew how to use a telephone.

This is really, really bad. Not only are new and returning viewers going to be discouraged from tuning in next week, but your regular viewers may be turned off as well. The contest really hindered the overall flow of the program, and they made absolutely no effort into trying to incorporate it into the show's booking. JBL already made it clear he doesn't like that fans are receiving free money, and John Cena is the company's golden boy. Why not have JBL complain to Vince about this contest, prompting Vince to propose that if JBL wins, the next contestant gets $2, but if Cena wins, the contestant gets $200,000? It would certainly add a little heat to the match up, which we've seen several times over the past couple of months.

I most certainly appreciate the gesture of the giveaway (I mean, there are a lot of other ways to garner attention than giving money to your viewing audience), and I think it has the potential to be successful, but they absolutely should have fine tuned the logistics before going live.

I will say this in defense of the show, though: The Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels storyline continues to deliver. Absolutely awesome segment.

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It's all about the money -- as it should be

So tonight marks the first week of Vince McMahon's Million Dollar Giveaway, and I have to wonder something: What in the blue hell is with all the negativity towards this sweepstakes? Because that's all that this is: A SWEEPSTAKES! Practically every where you go, from Lance Storm's commentary to the News Day blog I discussed last week, people proclaim this contest as a pathetic, desperate maneuver to garner viewers. Most people have interpreted this giveaway as "We'll pay you to watch our show."

Are we really that cynical and eager to find SOMETHING to criticize? Yes, this is an attempt to get viewers, but isn't that the point of running a television show? Vince McMahon explicitly stated that this was the intention during his live promo last week. This should come as no surprise either way, though, as the primary purpose of television is to get people to watch your program. If for some reason you're losing viewers, you respond by trying something new in order to win them back. This is a very standard practice. Hell, twice a year we go through sweeps so that (a) ratings go up and (b) networks/producers/whoever make more money off of advertising. And virtually every single television show participates in this practice, and that's not an exaggeration.

I also find the argument of "we'll pay you to watch our show" weak and flawed (not to mention a bit lame). Oprah is probably the most successful person in her genre, and she regularly doles out loads of money to her audience (both live and viewing). Remember when she gave every single person in the live audience a car? Regis & Kelly regularly call previously registered viewers (sound familiar?) and quiz them on various topics in order to win money or a trip (and many of these questions involve information that you would not have known had you not watched their show). Z100 pays the bills of numerous viewers everyday. Are all of these programs paying their viewers to watch? Are they all desperate and pathetic as well?

The idea of giving your audience an incentive to watch is nothing new, nor is it pathetic. Obviously, it's the WWE's responsibility to ensure that they air a program that maintains that new and returning audience, or else they essentially wasted one million dollars a week. Nevertheless, it's undeniably earned them significant attention (that News Day blog has already posted something in the range of 10 posts revolving around the giveaway), which leads me to believe that the idea isn't ludicrous. It just absolutely amazes me how many people have labeled this ploy as a miserable failure, weeks before it even officially began.

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Blog Exclusive: Your Complete Guide to Season 4 of Lost

It's going to be a long eight months until Lost returns. So, to pass the time a little easier, I have provided a complete guide to season 4. That's right, for your enjoyment, take a look back at EVERY SINGLE "A Case of the.... Lost" season 4 column! I figure that you should be able to finish reading them by about September or October....

Episode 4-01 - "The Beginning of the End"

Episode 4-02 - "Confirmed Dead"

Episode 4-03 - "The Economist"

Episode 4-04 - "Eggtown"

Episode 4-05 - "The Constant"

Episode 4-06 - "The Other Woman"

Episode 4-07 - "Ji Yeon"

Episode 4-08 - "Meet Kevin Johnson"

Episode 4-09 - "The Shape of Things to Come"

Episode 4-10 - "Something Nice Back Home"

Episode 4-11 - "Cabin Fever"

Episode 4-12 - "There's No Place Like Home (Part 1)"

Episodes 4-13 & 4-14 - "There's No Place Like Home (Parts 2 & 3)"

I'm always looking for some good comments and discussions, so here are some suggested talking points:

• Which episode was your favorite?
• Which episode was most disappointing?
• How did this season measure up to the previous three?
• Did the fact that this season was so Oceanic Six-heavy hurt it? Consider that out of 14 episodes, Ben, Juliet, Desmond, Michael, and Locke are the only non-Oceanic Six characters to receive centric episodes (excluding the freighter folks)...
• And, finally, what seemed more "right": Kate playing house with Sawyer in the barracks, or Kate accepting Jack's marriage proposal?

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A Case of the.... Lost - Episodes 4-13 & 4-14

So last week brought us the finale of what I consider the best season of Lost yet. Did it live up to the very, very high bar that was set by last year’s shocking ending? That’s a bit tough to answer. Truth be told, short of THE actual end of the series, I’m not sure any of the finales will ever quite live up to that twist, but that doesn’t make them any less good, either. One criticism that surprised me, in particular, is that some people felt that nothing big really happened. On the contrary, throughout the entire episode I felt like SOMETHING big was always happening. It truly felt like a chain reaction of constant action, while still telling a damn interesting story. I thought that the pieces came together quite nicely.

http://primetimepulse.insidepulse.com/2008/06/06/a-case-of-the-lost-episode-4-13/

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Looks like we've got an election here!

While I'm admittedly not very interested in politics, the 2008 Presidential election has been absolutely thrilling. I think perhaps the best thing about this election is that, for the first time in recent memory, it feels like people are going to be voting FOR a candidate, and not AGAINST one. And we now know who the candidates will be: John McCain and Barack Obama.

In my opinion, these two are the best options on both sides, and this was the election that I have been hoping for. The biggest reason why I'm so happy that one of these two candidates will be our next President is because they don't appear to just blindly follow their party's line. As I mention any time the topic of politics comes up, I am exceptionally disenfranchised by the whole two party system. While I understand the mentality of it, I think it's wildly naive to believe that just because somebody is fiscally conservative, they must be socially conservative as well. And I think it's unfair and ridiculous that people have to choose between these two ideologies, especially when they really do not oppose or conflict with one another.

Listen, I'm a straight, white, Christian male, so chances are I'm not going to find myself victimized by an intolerant community (or society as a whole, for that matter, if we want to look at things pessimistically). Therefore -- and this is unfortunate -- matters that I find unfair, like oppressing the rights of homosexuals, will probably have to take a backseat to interests that personally impact me, like how my money is being spent. Yes, that sounds exceptionally selfish, but I'm sure I'm not the only person who votes this way. And that's one of my main problems with the two party system: for the most part, people are put in a position that they must vote for somebody strictly liberal or strictly conservative.

I'd like to think that our society has evolved a great deal over the past several decades, especially when it comes to being tolerant to those who choose to live a different lifestyle. But in my eyes, the ideologies of the political parties haven't changed with the times, and as such, in many ways, the two party system does more harm than good.

My other issue with our current system is that the vast majority of people I know vote for the party and not the candidate. I'm sure people will defend this practice by saying that your preferred party's candidate better represents your beliefs, but I don't buy that. There are loads of people who vote in elections without knowing anything whatsoever on the candidate they're voting for. They just vote right down the party line.

Just as bad, somebody I know -- who is quite intelligent and rather well informed in regards to politics -- who has stated that he likes McCain, but he wouldn't vote for him because he doesn't want to reward the Republicans with another term. What sort of sense does that make? While it's silly to vote for a candidate because of his party, it's just as bad to NOT vote for somebody because of his party.

I will likely discuss more about the election as it begins to heat up, but at the moment I can honestly say that I would be proud to have either of these men as my President. And it HAS been a long time since I have been able to say that.

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Talk about a missed opportunity

When Scott Keith plugged former WWE creative writer Seth Mates' blog, I was pretty excited. I mean, the concept of the blog was pretty damn creative and unique, as readers would finally get a glimpse into the inner workings of the infamous creative minds of World Wrestling Entertainment. In addition to that, they'd also find out the original plan for certain angles, the decisions that went into some of the most historic and influential storylines (for better or worse), and a whole bunch of neat tidbits that you won't find anywhere else.

Yes, the concept was cool, but what we ACTUALLY got is no different than anything else you'll find on the Internet. Sure, Seth may tell a fun story once every couple of months, but nine times out of ten he'll just say "That's a story for another time....gotta give people a reason to keep coming!" Instead, he or his tag team partner Alfonso Castillo will complain about the current product, most of the time before angles and storylines even play out.

Don't get me wrong. They're absolutely entitled to their own opinion and there's nothing wrong with them voicing their discontent, but why on earth would you do the same exact thing as everybody else when you have the resources to offer something completely original? There's also a certain sense of irony, as they constantly urge WWE to give their audience something different, instead of much of the same. Perhaps they should take their own advice.

In my eyes, this blog is a HUGE missed opportunity, but feel free to check it out. It truly is a fun read when some insider stories are shared:

http://weblogs.newsday.com/sports/specialevent/wrestling/

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My Aaron concession. For real this time...

To be stubborn is to be human, and I'm as human as the next guy. That being said, I am able to admit that I'm wrong when logical evidence presents itself. With that, I completely, 100% concede to my argument that Aaron is not part of the Oceanic Six with no cynism whatsoever. To those wondering why this took so long, I could accept that the title "Oceanic Six" was a media-created catch phrase, and as such shouldn't be taken so literally that it wouldn't include somebody who was not yet born. The one thing that really irked me was Jack's testimony at Kate's trial, when he notes that eight people survived the crash. He begins to say that two died shortly afterwards before he's cut off by an emotional Kate. Once again, here's that video:



While his choice of wording is a little clunky and forced, I now fully understand the mathematics and can make an educated guess on how he would have ended that sentence. Obviously, if he had said that three other people survived, it would have given away that only five of the Oceanic Six were physically on the flight (which would have ruined the Aaron shocker at the end of the episode). When you watch the extended press conference scene from part one of "There's No Place Like Home," you come to understand how Jack likely would have finished his testimony not been interrupted:



I'm not positive if this scene is considered part of the show's canon, or if it's just a fun little Easter egg. Assuming the former, the lie is that two did die shortly after the crash (Boone and Libby), and that the other (Charlie) drowned just weeks before being rescued. The reason I called Jack's dialogue a bit forced is because saying "she tried to save two others" instead of "she tried to save the other two" is a lot clearer and more natural. Nevertheless, what he said at the trial is not inaccurate (well, aside from it being a lie).

I do find his choice of survivors curious, though. It seems likely that they chose dead people to minimize the chances of them getting caught in a lie. I had always assumed that Charlie was a survivor, even before his name was dropped, because Penny had seen him alive. However, with Penny being part of the lie, the point seems moot. Nevertheless, why Boone and Libby? According to Jack's story, they escaped through one of the emergeny doors. So how did Libby, who was in the tail section of the plane, get out, but not Shannon, who was sitting next to Boone? Very strange, indeed. Any theories?

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