[a case of the summer] - Pet Peeves

Still reeling a bit from a sleep deprived weekend, but here's your pet peeves:

1. Pedestrians who cross the street at a snail's pace. I know you have the right-of-way, but something can be said for being courteous to the drivers that are trying to make a turn during a short light.

2. Drivers who don't move out of the fast lane after two or three cars change lanes to pass them.

3. Tip jars. I hate the idea that you deserve a tip for doing your job, when it takes very little physical effort to begin with. I mean, if you work at Subway and your job is to make sandwiches, why do you expect a tip for making a sandwich?

4. For that matter, I hate when people make the argument "yeah, but they make most of their money off of tips." And that's my problem why, exactly? This person is not my employee, so why am I responsible for paying the majority of his salary? For the life of me, I don't know how business owners in the service industry managed to convince us that it makes more sense for the consumer to pay an ADDITIONAL percentage on top of what they're already paying for THEIR employee, instead of the owner paying THEIR employee a commission of the money that was made off of their services.

And number five comes to us from Frank:

5. Cops who think they're doing you a favor by giving you a "seatbelt ticket" or "rearview obstruction." Granted it's 0 points but it still makes your insurance go up. Like, a real favor would be letting me go with a warning.

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Unfavorable odds heading into A.C.

So I'm heading to Atlantic City tonight for a friend's bachelor party, and wouldn't you know, just yesterday something happens to me that shows that the odds/numbers are not on my side. See this blog entry for the backstory regarding this exclusive video:



Also, I'm planning on doing a Top Ten Cases ranking the best comic book character portrayals in movies and television. However, I'm having a bit of trouble flling up all ten slots. I'm really looking for instances in which the actor BECOMES the character. Would you guys mind e-mailing me your suggestions? And don't even bother mentioning Heath Ledger -- he's obviously on the list already. I suppose I'm more looking for examples I would have missed.

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Movie Reviews Galore! GI Joe, Watchmen, I Love You, Man, Last House on the Left, Obsessed

In place of a Video of the Week, I thought I'd just provide an onslaught of movie reviews, featuring many of the films that appeared on my Top Ten Cases list of movies I'm most looking forward to. Naturally, hindsight is 20/20, and after seeing a number of these movies, I'd probably re-evaluate the order in which they appear. But that's another list for another day.

Please click the "Read More" link for my reviews. Be warned, though, ALL OF THESE REVIEWS CONTAIN SPOILERS! Since many of you may not have seen all of the movies that I will review, I have opted to write each review in a different color text. That way you'll be able to skip over a certain section more easily. Enjoy!

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra:

After the reviews I read and overall word of mouth, I was expecting GI Joe to be so bad that it would give me testicular cancer. Yet I still felt obligated to see it, if only because I was looking so forward to it for so long.

And I have to say, it far exceeded my expectations. Maybe that's because I went into the movie with such low expectations. I was honestly not expecting a single redeemable factor. But, honestly, it kept me thoroughly entertained and despite the large cast, I really did get grow to care about the core characters.

And yes, certain aspects of the film are not entirely faithful to the classic series. First off, they're not all Americans (and considering the movie's tendency to spew out all of the cheesy one liners -- mostly in a tongue-in-cheek manner -- this was a bit surprising). Secondly, a number of the main heroes and villains have had their backstories rewritten in order to create a more personal rivalry. Has anybody seen that episode of The Venture Brothers where we learn that virtually every core character went to college together? It kinda felt like that. Duke was int he army with Rip Cord and Cobra Commander, who is Baroness' brother, who as it happens, is engaged to Duke. You get the idea.

As far as performances go, I initially thought Channing Tatum was terrible (which is disappointing, since Duke is my favorite good guy). His "acting" took me completely out of the movie. But once he joined the Joes, his faults quickly dissipated. Marlon Wayans got a lot of heat for his involvement in the film, but I actually quite enjoyed his performance. His comic relief was genuine. I was INCREDIBLY skeptical of the kid from 3rd Rock From the Sun playing Cobra Commander, but I was EXCEPTIONALLY pleasantly surprised. I thought he did a great job. And I LOVED the way his character was hiding in plain sight the entire movie, emerging at the way end as the one TRULY pulling the strings.

My one complaint? I hated the mask. I wish he had worn the classic hood. Cobra Commander looks pretty f'n bad ass in his modern-day black and red outfit. Look it up, kids.

Enthusiasts were critical of the accelerator suits as well, but don't fret: They're limited to one single scene. And I have to admit that it was a pretty exhilarating scene.

Overall, definitely worth a DVD rental.

Watchmen:

It's odd. By traditional means, Watchmen was a far better film than GI Joe. Yet I was disappointed by Watchmen, and GI Joe was better than expected. And in the end, I'd probably still rank GI Joe higher on my list.

It's been a while since I've seen it, so I can't quite put my finger on why I found it disappointing, but it felt really, really long. And it was somewhat hard to follow at times.

That being said, I did find the characters interesting. And the plight of essentially sacrificing your life for a lie in order to better humanity is an interesting one. I also appreciated the lack of a "bad guy" in the midst of the love triangle.

I Love You, Man:

This is your basic definition of a classic buddy comedy. Everybody -- from the couples to the friendships -- had solid, believable, and enjoyable chemistry with one another.

Perhaps my favorite part, though, was how relatable everybody was -- at all stages of the movie. Whether you're the girl competing with your boyfriend's best friend, or the single guy whose friends are all growing up by getting married and having kids, or the guy who's just been more comfortable around women than men -- you can understand somebody's plight. And as the movie progresses and the dynamics change, you still relate. I mean, who hasn't had a significant other who reveals your most personal moments, only to get upset when you do the same?

However, while I consistently laugh, I did expect it to be funnier. Definite recommendation, though.

Last House on the Left:

While this was undoubtedly one of the more clever and unique horror films, it wasn't quite what I expected it to be. Based on the previews I initially saw, I thought this movie would have the protagonists taking the antagonist role, essentially preying upon the villains.

Instead, for the most part, the movie had the characters playing the classic roles. The good guys were forced to protect themselves in order to survive, and the bad guys were the aggressors. The sole exception was the scene at the end, however that was so outlandish that it didn't really help matters, in my opinion. That's not to say the characters weren't well written (they were) and that they didn't play their roles believably (they did) -- I'm just a bit disappointed.

Nonetheless, it was a very exciting film. And those that enjoy the genre, I believe, will appreciate this movie for what it is and what it attempts to achieve.

Obsessed:

Likewise, you need to go into a movie like Obsessed understanding what it is and what it attempts to achieve. However, if I were to discourage somebody from any of the films in this review, it'd be this one.

It's not that the movie is necessarily bad, it's just that it was lazily written. Ali Larter's character has an obsessive crush on her boss, but why? Because he's good looking? Because he's powerful? Because he reminds him of somebody from her past? We never find out. Further, we never truly come to understand whether she has a history of mental illness.

And then there was the whole thing where her temp position was extended because numerous administrative personnel got the flu. Was this just a coincidence? Or did she somehow give them the flu? And if so -- how? Is she some sort of mad chemist?

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[a case of the summer] - Pet Peeves

Hey, how about my kick ass SummerSlam predictions? All but one correct!

1. Menus that don't indicate the soda selection.

2. The fact that Edge's lame fake headshot on the SmackDown Superstars page hasn't been changed in, like, three years. They can find the time to update Funaki's photo, but not the guy who has headlined the show for several years???

3. I'll be honest -- I really don't find it all that cute when girls repeat the last letter of a word when they're writing something (like "I lovee youu").

4. Groups of people that walk through parking lots, completely oblivious to the cars that are trying to pass them.

And the last one comes from our friend Neal at Oblivious to Melody (update the blog, man):

5. Really small dogs.


Fair enough, old friend.

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SummerSlam Predictions

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The Quik Bunny

For what it's worth, I kinda feel like I made the right choice with my right eye, and the wrong choice with my left one. We'll see, though.

Anyway, the other day at work, while I was having lunch with some co-workers, a NesQuik commercial came on. I remarked how, back in the day, I remember the Quik Bunny used to be different colors depending on which flavor he was advertising (brown for chocolate, pink for strawberry, and white for vanilla). Everybody looked at me with disagreement, claiming that he's only been brown.

I admitted that he's always brown now, no matter the flavor, but that he used to be different colors. I did a pretty intensive online search to prove my point, and it seems like I was 3/4 right. While he did undoubtedly change colors back in the day, unfortunately I couldn't find anything remotely modern. As in, yes, a pink bunny tried to get us to drink strawberry Quik, but he looked nothing like the familiar rabbit we see now.

The most recent photo I could find was this:

So, blog readers, I have two questions for you. First, does anybody else remember the alternate versions of the Quik Bunny? And, further, can anybody provide me with some proof that this happened since, say, the mid-eighties (photos, videos, etc)? Thanks!

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To you Math majors out there....

So I wear contact lenses that have to be changed every two weeks (and I take them out every night). Today was the day that I made the swap. Based on past experiences, I don't throw out the old pair until I know everything is okay with the new pair (if there's a tear, for example, I still have the old pair to fall back on).

Anyway, I just went to put my new contacts back in the canister, and afterwards I immediately realized that I never threw out the old set. So I reopened both lids and kept the contact that seemed to be "on top," and tossed the other one.

So here's my question: What are the odds that both of the lenses I kept are the new ones? It's not as simple as 50/50 -- because I might have disposed of one good contact, but kept the other good one. Or both might be good. Or both might be bad.

Any help?

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Upcoming blog activities

I want to apologize for the lack of blog activity this week. Between work, extra curricular activities, and helping to plan a birthday celebration/pool party for my dad and aunt, I haven't had much time to devote to the blog (and Masked Emotions already accused me of phoning in the my Brief Case post). Anyway, there are a number of things I want to discuss, so here's a peak at what I have planned:

Movie reviews for Watchmen, I Love You, Man, Obsessed, and GI Joe.

A look at steroids in wrestling, in response to Scott Keith's cynical blog post from a few days ago.

Oh, and this weekend you'll get my SummerSlam predictions! Possibly in video form!

Be patient, and please keep visiting!

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[a case of the summer] - The Brief Case

Photo location: Westwood, NJ

This photo was taken in Veterans' Memorial Park in Westwood, New Jersey. Here, the briefcase is set up alongside World War I Trench Mortar, which was presented to Westwood on September 14, 1927 by the Ralph W. Lester VFW Post No. 130. Post No. 130 is named in honor of a Westwood resident who perished in service during World War I. I love the way this photo came out, with the case really standing out against the white snow and the earth tones. Here's a photograph of the plaque that appears on the pile of stones:

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[a case of the summer] - Video of the Week

Not the best quality, but here's a preview for season 9 of Smallville from Comic Con. Looks like a pretty bad ass season, although he BETTER fly. And I don't mean in the finale, either.

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Crazy like a silver haired fox

Over at The Steel Cage, Alfonso Castillo has an interesting interview with Kevin Nash. Overall, it's a pretty good read, but Nash makes one particular argument that drives me absolutely crazy. A lot of wrestlers use it, notably Triple H and JBL, and in my mind it makes positively no sense whatsoever. Here's an excerpt:

KN: And I say to myself, “So let me get this right – You’re somebody that can’t boil an egg, and you’re coming to my restaurant and your criticizing my food as a chef?”

AC: I’ve never really bought that argument, because I’ll go to a movie – I can’t make a movie. I can’t act in a movie – but I think I know what I like and I don’t like in a movie. So is that to say that somebody who’s never wrestled can’t be a critic of wrestling?

KN: I’ll tell you something right now. Somebody who’s never been in the ring sure as hell can’t tell me who can work and who can’t work.

AC: You can say what you enjoy. I mean, at the end of the day, the performers are putting on a performance for the spectator, right? So you can say, as the spectator, whether you appreciated their work or not.

When I first started visiting The Steel Cage, I have to admit that I used to say to myself, "Who's this guy?" when Alfonso would post a column. Like many others, I initially began visiting to get interesting, insider stories from former WWE writer Seth Mates. But it didn't take long for me to realize that Alfonso has a pretty solid mind for the business, while Seth is mostly bitter and uninformed.

Point being: I am SO SO SO proud of Alfonso for calling Nash out on his asinine argument. Even his comparison is idiotic. Just because somebody doesn't have the ability to boil an egg, they can't provide insight into what tastes good? That's ridiculous. There isn't a person on earth who doesn't have a food preference -- yet not everybody can cook.

But to the actual argument: Alfonso makes a great point. Ultimately, wrestlers are putting on a performance for the spectator. And in that regard, in many ways, the spectator is the ONLY opinion that matters. Earlier in the interview Nash notes that certain people aren't pushed because the higher ups are smart. If numbers go down when they're on screen, they're not going to get pushed. In other words, if the fans don't dig you, you're not going to make it. Yet these same fans (who haven't stepped in the ring) can't judge your performance?

And finally, consider the source. Can Nash honestly make the argument that he's a great worker? And he's got the nerve to say that guys like Edge and John Cena are injury prone. The guy tore his quad from walking!

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What in the blue hell....

Or should I say "blotchy orange hell"?

Matt Hardy's faux tan has been, shall we say, peculiar since his heel turn at the beginning of this year. But it's REALLY beginning to get ridiculous. In addition to being a shade that I can only describe as "unearthly," it's also completely uneven. There are random dark blotches, and his face isn't even remotely close to the same color as the rest of his body.

Geez, between his bulked up appearance, bloated face, receding hairline, and ridiculous color, Matt Hardy is really looking like a shell of his former self.

I know it's a lot healthier than tanning beds, but some of these television personalities need to invest in a more realistic looking alternative.

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[a case of the summer] - Top Ten Cases: Best vampires

The latest edition of Entertainment Weekly takes a look at the twenty greatest vampire characters. While some obvious characters made the list, I was a bit taken aback by some notable exclusions. Overall, I think their list pretty weak. And honestly, Dracula makes the list, like, five times! I should also note that I'm not particularly fond of Blade. I think it's a little cheap to give him every vampire power, but none of the weaknesses. I mean, even Superman had Kryptonite.

And while I do fancy myself a bit of a vampire enthusiast, I have no interest in anything Twilight related. Vampires prancing around in the daylight? No thanks. Nonetheless, I'll also admit that my list is flawed as well, as it pretty much focuses exclusively on a few popular franchises. But for what it's worth, here's my list of the top ten vampires in television, movies, and literature.

Click the "Read More" link for the full list.

10. Count von Count ("Sesame Street") - Aw c'mon, the guy taught us all how to count! Although we never did see him do anybody in.

9. Selene ("Underworld") - I only saw the first Underworld movie, but c'mon -- a female vampire who kicks ass? Not too shabby.

8. David ("The Lost Boys") - I'll admit that it's been forever since I've seen The Lost Boys, and I really don't remember much of anything about the character. But I'm going to say one thing that will warrant his placement on this list: Jack F'n Bauer as a vampire. Nuff said.

7. Drusilla ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer"/"Angel") - For the most part, all of the major vampires on Buffy are either extremely powerful, incredibly cool, supremely funny, or all of the above. So it's a bit of fresh air to see one character that's just kooky, fantastical, and supernatural. Along with that, her backstory is incredibly tragic and powerful. Here you had a girl who genuinely wanted to be good, and while vampires like Angel and Spike were manipulated in an instantaneous moment of vulnerability, Drusilla was preyed upon over the course of several months. Perhaps more than any other character, Drusilla's transformation into a vampire was an honest-to-God violation. She's a much deeper character than one might suspect.

6. Bill Compton ("True Blood") - I haven't read the book series in which this show is based, so all I can discuss is what I've seen over the past two seasons (for what it's worth, most people who have read the books seem to favor Eric). I just think Bill's Southern Gentleman character does an excellent job of setting the tone of the series -- essentially that vampires aren't soulless creatures. In fact, much like humans, they are capable of good and bad, and must find a balance between their innate urges and the laws of society. I don't think people would buy the series as a whole if they didn't relate to Bill. I became a real fan of the character after enjoying his kind interactions with Sookie's grandmother.

5. Lestat ("Interview with the Vampire") - Much like Mr. Compton above, Lestat helped reinvent how people view vampires (as noted by the Entertainment Weekly article). Before Tom Cruise popularized the character, most people thought of the caped, pale-blue skinned guy with a widowed peak and unrealistic fangs. Lestat paved the way for the rest of the vamps on this list, making people realized that vampires can be refined and cultured.

4. Angel ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer"/"Angel") - While I've always been partial to Spike (more on him shortly), I do have to admit that Angel is a fun, complex character as well. Hell, his curse by nature layers his character: He's got a soul, so he wants to do good. But if he ever achieves pure happiness, he loses his soul. For what it's worth, we first discovered this in season two, when he and Buffy slept together. She was 16. He was about 200. There ya' go.

3. Louis ("Interview with the Vampire") - While most people remember Lestat -- I suppose because he's a more crucial character to the Interview with the Vampire series -- I'm actually partial to Louis (portrayed by Brad Pitt in the movie). While Lestat introduced a more civilized, contemporary vision of a vampire, Louis was the one who accentuated the humanity. No longer simply a villainous creature of the night, Louis showed that vampires have the ability to love and build genuine relationships. When I think of the popular film, most of my memories involve Louis, and not Lestat.

2. Spike ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer"/"Angel") - In my opinion, it's pretty inexcusable that Spike was left off of the EW list altogether. As far as I'm concerned, he helped MAKE the Buffy series popular. Sure, Angel was pushed as the brooding vampire, but it was Spike's turn as the Big Bad that catapulted the series into cult following status. And when Angel got his spin off, thrusting Spike into the unlikely role as an unofficial member of the Scoobies, the character really took off. Actually, I find it curious that Angel is constantly portrayed as a noble, brave hero, while most view Spike as an obnoxious, selfish anti-hero. Personally, I have always felt that Spike was a far better person than Angel. Consider the following: Before turning into a vampire, Angel was a drunk, rebellious jerk. Spike was a honest and caring, if a bit awkward. After turning into a vampire, Angel brutally murdered his entire family, including his little sister. On the other hand, Spike turned his mother into a vampire in a desperate attempt to save her from dying of TB. Angel was cursed with a soul. Spike violently went through hell in order to earn his soul so that he could be a better man to Buffy. Speaking of Buffy: Without his soul, Angel is a heartless, ruthless killer. He killed the love of Giles' life just to destroy Buffy psychologically. And he did so in a particularly emotionally damaging manner. Yet Spike, even without a soul, continually fought alongside Buffy and her friends (many of whom he didn't even like) out of a sense of loyalty and love. Hell, he even babysat!

1. Dracula - How could you not give #1 to Mr. Vlad the Impaler himself? When most people think of a vampire, they instinctively think of Dracula. I opted not to split up the character based on the various interpretations, although I will say that, for the most part, I'm partial to Gary Oldman's portrayal in Bram Stoker's Dracula.

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[a case of the summer] - Video of the Week - SUPER SIZE EDITION!

Oh, how is THIS for special, folks? This edition of Video of the Week will not include one video. Oh no -- it'll include ten (count 'em -- TEN) videos!

To commemorate G.I. Joe coming out this Friday, I'm going to post the entire G.I. Joe Resolute mini-series (taking a much more adult view of the classic cartoon), which can be viewed through 10 parts on YouTube. Now, as to not completely bog down the site (a case of the bog?), I'm going to post the first part on the main page. For the remaining nine parts, you'll have to click the "Read More" link.

Oh, and for what it's worth, the general consensus is that this Resolute series will be far superior to the movie (which I still plan on seeing, nonetheless). So enjoy!




Click the "Read More" link for the remaining nine videos

Part 2:




Part 3:




Part 4:




Part 5:




Part 6:




Part 7:




Part 8:




Part 9:




Part 10:

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[a case of the summer] - Pet Peeves

1. Comedians who laugh at their own jokes....while telling them.

2. People who chronically don't return calls or texts. Everybody's allowed an occasional oversight, but honestly is there anything less considerate?

3. The fact that nobody ever says "good bye" at the end of any phone conversation on 24.

4. Women who remark, "Why is it that a man can hook up with a lot of women and he's a player, while if a woman does it she's a slut?" and think they're making some cataclysmic, original observation.

And the fifth pet peeve once again comes courtesy of my friend Neal over at Oblivious to Melody:

5. People who think it's "for all intensive purposes" and not "for all intents and purposes."

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[a case of the summer] - The Brief Case

Photo location: Bergenfield, NJ

There's one particular railroad track that goes across, like, all of Bergen County and beyond. And it's a really, really slow train. It's extremely long and moves at a snail's pace. If you're unfortunate enough to catch it, you're talking about a 10 minute wait.

Well, tragically, one day I was heading home from work and not only did I get blocked by this train....but it wasn't even moving! That's right -- for some reason, the train was completely stopped. And like I said, this thing is LONG. I had to drive through three towns before I could get to the other side so that I could get home.

But anyway, during my journey, I did take advantage of a rare opportunity. With the briefcase in my backseat, I parked on the street, got up real close to the stalled train (safe!) and snapped a photo. Of course, it was dark, so it didn't come out great. But the point was made.

View all of the Briefcase Photos
View Briefcase Photo Outtakes

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[a case of the summer] - Blog Exclusive Video

Check out this blog exclusive video -- with a special guest!

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