Saturday, October 25, 2008

Cyber Sunday thoughts and predictions

This Sunday is Cyber Sunday, WWE's annual pay-per-view in which they offer their fans (no, I will not call them the "WWE Universe") the opportunity to vote for match stipulations, opponents, referees, and more.

I'm not one of those skeptical fans who continually argue that the voting is rigged -- I honestly believe that it's not -- but I must admit that I'm pretty disappointed with this year's selection. First off, the matches aren't all that interesting. Secondly, the text voting deal is EXCEPTIONALLY lame. And finally, the options are less than ideal. Lets take a look at the card:

WWE Championship Match: Triple H vs. ??? (fans vote for opponent: Jeff Hardy, Vladimir Kozlov, or both)

Wow....the options....

Who I would vote for: Jeff Hardy -- yes, we've seen this match a hundred times already, but it's the lesser of three evils.
Who I think will win: Probably Hardy, but the triple threat match is still a possibility.
Match result: Triple H retains

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Chris Jericho vs. Batista (fans vote for referee: Stone Cold Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, or Randy Orton)

Case in point regarding my introduction: How many times do we need to see this match? Worse yet, how many times do we have to see Batista in a World Championship match? Consider this: In the past, what, three years, we've seen Khali, Undertaker, Edge, CM Punk, and Chris Jericho as World Heavyweight Champions. And during each of those reigns, Batista was the #1 Contender. I really have no issues with Batista, but I could vomit if I see him in another World title match. For the life of me, I don't know why they didn't continue the Jericho/Punk feud (something new), instead of putting Batista in the same situation AGAIN and having Punk fall into oblivion.

Who I would vote for: I don't know, Austin I guess.
Who I think will win: Austin is the safest bet, but I think WWE might be underestimating the possibility that Michaels could win.
Match result: Jericho retains

ECW Championship Match: Matt Hardy vs. ??? (fans vote for opponent: Mark Henry, Finlay, or Evan Bourne)

It's surprising that the ECW Championship match is not only offering the best selection in its voting options, but it's also likely to offer the match of the night. Not bad for a title that is usually relegated to the opening match (although, in fairness, that could happen here).

Who I would vote for: Evan Bourne
Who I think will win: Probably Evan Bourne, although I could honestly see this going any of the three ways.
Match result: Hardy retains

Intercontinental Championship Match: Santino Marella vs. ??? (fans vote for opponent: Honky Tonk Man, Rowdy Roddy Piper, or Goldust)

This is an innocent comedy match. I'm actually looking forward to it, actually.

Who I would vote for: Honky Tonk Man
Who I think will win: Honky Tonk Man, given the whole "Honk-A-Meter" thing. But there is a SLIM chance Piper might come out on top.
Match result: Santino retains

Undertaker vs. Big Show (fans vote for stipulation: Knockout match, Last Man Standing, or I Quit match)

Alright, I'll ask: What exactly is the difference between a Knockout and Last Man Standing match? A Knockout match, presumably, would entail one competitor hitting the other, and keeping them down for 10 seconds. A Last Man Standing match, as we've seen, is when one Superstar is beaten to such oblivion that he cannot get back to his feet before the 10 count. This is what I mean when I say that they're offering you options without REALLY giving you any choices.

What I would vote for: An I Quit match, just because I know they'd never have Undertaker utter those words, and they don't want to castrate Big Show's monster giant character.
What I think will win: Knockout match, since that's what makes the most logical sense given the angle.
Match result: Undertaker wins, after using a foreign object to knock Big Show out. Which, essentially, makes it a Last Man Standing match. The IWC will complain.

Kane vs. Rey Mysterio (fans vote for stipulation: Falls Count Anywhere match, No Holds Barred match, 2-out-of-3 Falls match)

God, could you imagine if this match is 2-out-of-3 falls?

What I would vote for: Fall Count Anywhere
What I think will win: Falls Count Anywhere
Match Result: Mysterio wins, and hopefully both move on from this feud. Oh, and it'd be nice if Kane donned that mask again.

Fans pick the tag team match: CM Punk & Kofi Kingston vs. Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes, Jamie Noble & Mickie James vs. William Regal & Layla, or Cryme Tyme vs. John Morrison & The Miz

This one makes me scratch my head, because we've seen virtually all of these possible matches numerous times. I don't care how much they're trying to make us care about this Cryme Tyme/John Morrison & Miz Word Up/Dirt Sheet feud, but I really don't.

What I would vote for: Punk & Kofi vs. DiBiase & Rhodes
Who I think will win: Probably Cryme Tyme vs. Morrison & Miz
Match Result: Morrison & Miz over Cryme Tyme, Punk & Kofi over DiBiase & Rhodes, and Regal & Layla over Noble & Mickie

United States Championship Match (Preview Match): Shelton Benjamin vs. ??? (fans vote for opponent: MVP, R-Truth, or Festus)

Festus? Really? He was the third competitor they thought of? Why not The Brian Kendrick? Or Khali?

Who I would vote for: MVP
Who I think will win: R-Truth
Match Result: A lot of me thinks that they'll do a title change here to raise the stakes of the whole concept. I hope not, though, because I like Shelton as the US Champion.

As you can see from my predictions, I don't imagine anything earth shattering happening at Cyber Sunday. And, while I actually really do like the concept, this year's installment is definitely the least exciting.

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